(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD/LAHORE – All outlets using the title ‘HAR tyre shop’, or any variation thereof, that have begun to spring up across the province since Thursday morning are phoney, newly nominated Punjab Caretaker Chief Minister Prof Hasan Askari Rizvi has revealed.
Talking exclusively to The Dependent, Prof Rizvi clarified that he does not own any tyre shop yet and should that transpire he would definitely not use his initials as the name of the shop.
“Not because I would have anything to hide, but simply because it doesn’t quite have the ring to it to attract customers,” added the new Caretaker CM, who is the author of multiple books including Military, State and Society in Pakistan.
“The ECP has appointed me caretaker CM in line with the Constitution… opening tyre shops also happens to be in line with the Constitution,” he added.
“People are opening tyre shops, which is their right. They can say open the shops and name it whatever they want, but I just want to clarify that those are not my shops” he said.
“If they wish to open shops with my initials, they can. It makes no difference to me,” he said, adding: “I will come up with a much better name for my shop.”