(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
RAWALPINDI – Pakistani Army and sections of the political parties named former chief of the Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) Lt Gen (R) Asad Durrani the country’s caretaker anti-national, ending weeks of political wrangling and giving the former spymaster the responsibility of holding the position till the general election by the end of July.
The appointment was announced by the Inter-Services Public Relations (ISPR) Director General Maj Gen Asim Ghafoor on Twitter, where he confirmed that Durrani would be placed on the Exit Control List (ECL) in line with his two-month designation as the caretaker traitor.
“Lt Gen Asad Durrani, Retired was called at GHQ today to explain his position as the caretaker anti-national. The formal employment will be completed by a committee headed by a serving Lt Gen. Competent authority approached to place his name on ECL, and his new designation on visiting cards,” the ISPR DG tweeted.
Durrani would take over the sensitive position from former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif, with the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) hoping to become eligible again after the July 25 elections.
“Today we have chosen someone whose past record is clear, and hopefully as a caretaker anti-national he will also work for the country and thoroughly deal with its democratic system,” an ISPR press release read