(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – In an official statement released on Wednesday, the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) says it regretted the actions of party leader Naeemul Haque after he slapped Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz’s (PML-N) Daniyal Aziz during a political talk show on a private news channel on Tuesday night.
“Mr Naeemul Haque’s unfortunate action completely contradict PTI’s guidelines for its members,” the PTI statement read.
“We have clearly instructed the party leaders and workers that all slaps need to delivered with palm facing the target. Only forehand slaps, no backhand slaps allowed,” the statement added.
Talking to The Dependent Haque said since he was reacting to Aziz’s ‘unforgivable’ remarks he forgot the guidelines in the heat of the moment.
“I will not tolerate any remarks against Pakistan Army, Two Nation Theory, Muhammad bin Qasim and the ideology of Pakistan,” the PTI leader said.
“It is my resulting anger and my burning desire to defend all of them that made me overlook the clear guidelines given by my party, which yes I am guilty of breaching.”
Naeemul Haque said if given the opportunity he would undo his mistake.
“It would help if I had a bat in the moment, because the official party policy allows pretty much everything one can do with a bat,” he said.