NA approves groundbreaking new amendment to give basic human rights to Pakistani citizens


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – The National Assembly on Thursday passed a historic constitutional amendment seeking the granting of basic human rights to Pakistani citizens that had been living without them for the past 71 years with a 229-1 vote in favour.

Lawmakers from the Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam-Fazal (JUI-F) and the Pakhtunkhwa Milli Awami Party (PkMAP) chose to walk out from giving the people in question their rights, while Dawar Kundi from the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) was the sole person who voted against giving these rights.

Recalling that the struggle had taken four years, even though the struggle really had been a century old, Prime Minister Shahid Khaqan Abbasi thanked the opposition benches for voting in favour of the “historic” bill.

Earlier, PTI Imran Khan had addressed the parliament right before Abbasi, congratulating the parliament on coming together despite the differences.

“Today the corrupt and slappable thieves and those that should be and will be slapping them are together in giving Pakistani citizens their basic human rights,” he said.

“This is what the 2014 dharna was all about really. Today the PTI has got what it wanted,” the PTI chairman added.

“You tribal people, today Imran Khan has given you your rights.”