(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Noted public intellectual and moral compass of Pakistan, Ehsanullah Ehsaan has said that it was quite flattering that his name was being mentioned as a possibility for caretaker Prime Minister but he would have to step out of the race.
“It is quite flattering, it really is, but I feel that I should not be entrusted with this responsibility,” he said, speaking to reporters at his plush residence.
“I believe it is a life of the mind that is for me. And I don’t think I should be doing anything other than philanthropy and partaking in public discourse.”
“At a time like this, when seditious voices like Manzoor Pashteen’s are besmirching the good name of our defenders, I think I should be spending more time doing damage control for them; to act as their brand ambassador and manage their public image, rather than performing the ceremonial duties of caretaker prime minister,” he said.