(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – The prime minister candidate for Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) for the general elections scheduled for the year 2068 was born this Sunday.
Serena Munir, was born to Mehr-un-Nisa Safdar and Raheel Munir, amidst multi-pronged crises engulfing the party that she inherited this week.
Party insiders confirm that yet to be a week old Serena will be the PML-N candidate for the 2068 elections.
“The timing of her birth shows that she doesn’t fear hurdles and is willing to take on the enemies of democracy,” said PML-N quaid Nawaz Sharif, who is the 2068 election candidate’s great-grandfather, while talking to The Dependent.
Party sources also confirm that the newborn has already uttered her first words.
“She has said khalai makhlooq at least seven times since her birth, shrieking loudly after every utterance,” a close party aide to the Sharif family told The Dependent.
While multiple party sources have confirmed that Serena would be the PML-N candidate in 2068, it remains unclear whether the party would have the same name that year.
“The odds are that it would be PML-S,” said a senior political commentator. “What that S would stand for is still up for conjecture.”
Meanwhile, Maryam Nawaz, the daughter of Nawaz Sharif, and the grandmother of Serena, was congratulated on the birth of the party heir by numerous Twitter bots.
“Apki Beti Ka Beta Kyu Nahi Hua?” was tweeted simultaneously by 1,631 bots while tagging Maryam Nawaz.
This was followed by another 823 bots tweeting “Agar Beta Hojata to Acha Tha by adding, Chlo Jo Allah Ki Marzi.”
According to the latest calculations, 79% of these bots self-identified as women, with 70% of the follow-up automatically generated bot tweets clarifying that they don’t discriminate between sons and daughters.