Time-travelling future Imran Khan warns present Imran Khan against supporting establishment


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

In a significant development in both the nation’s civil-military relations and the space-time vortex, a future version of PTI chairman Imran Khan appeared in present time at Bani Gala to warn present Imran Khan against being used by the establishment.

“I made a passionate plea to my earlier – which you call present – self to tell him not to be used by the establishment in its plan to subvert the democratic process in the country,” said future Imran Khan, speaking to reporters at a press conference in Bani Gala.

“I told me – who was looking great, by the way – that there is nothing to be gained from being used as a pawn in the establishment’s larger game against the civilian politicians and that even when I do get elected with their support, they immediately start plotting against me by springing up a leader and poaching away politicians from my and other parties over to the new one,” he said.

“Well, I am at a loss for words,” said present Imran Khan at a separate press conference in another portion of the Bani Gala estate as he thought he should still be the biggest speaker at any single press conference.

“Here I was, sitting comfortably on my chair, with Sheru at my feet, and in comes this dashing, striking, fabulous looking fellow, asking me to avoid supporting the establishment!”

“I refuse to follow this advice, of course. Who is the PML(N) and future Imran Khan to say that I shouldn’t help the establishment, when they have both helped the establishment in their own respective pasts?”