Subhanallah! Schrodinger’s Faisal Subhan, who may or may not exist

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    In the good bad old days of the terrible nineties – a decade that is held up as some sort of standard adjective of depravity that the political class should avoid – allegations of corruption by the political parties against each other were simple.

    In infrastructure projects, which constitute a significant proportion of governmental graft, there would be accusations that the letter of the law, as far as regulations are concerned, was not followed. Alleged lapses in the  tendering process would be criticised, improprieties in the PC1 through to PC5 would be pointed out. Short of these, at least some perceived imperfections in the completed project would be held up as some sort of proof that there had been some sort of foul play somewhere.

    The situation there was that even though the public is, by default, programmed to believe in any allegation of corruption, the political parties themselves could pore over the nitty-gritty of the said corruption through the private media, which were only the newspapers at that point in time.

    With the prominence of the PTI in national politics, however, that seems to have changed. Allegations of corruption are now not something that could be addressed as (more or less) directly as they used to be able to.

    Why? Well, because instead of going over the letter of the law or some sort of smoking gun evidence of hanky-panky, the debate has shifted to smoke and mirrors and little green men from Mars.

    Do consider the case of the alleged corruption in the metrobus bus project in Multan. The PTI chairman keeps bringing up the confession of a Faisal Subhan to the Chinese regulators. He confessed that he was the front man for the Sharifs, claims Imran Khan. That’s the smoking gun right there and the Sharifs have now picked up the fellow and put him away, he continues.

    That seems to be a problem. You see, as opposed to the aforementioned days of the nineties, the other side isn’t saying that Subhan is lying or that there has been some sort of misunderstanding. They’re saying that he does not exist!

    This fellow is a figment of Imran Khan’s imagination, said Punjab government spokesperson Malik Ahmed Khan on Javed Chaudhry’s Kal Tak (Express News, 26th February). But the Punjab government is an expert at disappearing evidence, shot out the PPP’s Akhundzada Chattan, bringing up the series of delightfully convenient fires at record rooms during the League’s tenure. But this is different, said Chaudhry, this is an entire person we are talking about, whose very existence the government is denying.

    Well, what explanation does the government have for his confession in front of “China’s SECP” (China’s Securities and Exchange Commission of Pakistan?) asked the PTI’s Mehmood-ur-Rasheed. Malik Ahmed Khan responded by saying that there was no such confession and that the China Security Regulatory Commission has said no such thing.

    Malik then went on to put his money where his mouth was. If you manage to present this Faisal Subhan fellow, I will not only resign from my post, I will also quit politics forever.

    Rasheed didn’t have any of this. It is not my job to bring up this person that you have had disappeared, he said. Lawyer and fellow panelist Shah Khawar, not endeared to the government otherwise during the program, politely pointed out that the burden of proof is on the accuser, not the accused.

    Either the PML(N) is lying shamelessly about the whole affair (which it is not above) or this is just another graduation in the PTI chairman’s rather public descent into mental illness.