Pampering the next generation

• One of the major weaknesses of contemporary education

Having seen at close quarters university students (both undergrad and postgrad), many of whom are fresh high school graduates, I can summarise with some confidence the kind of education received by the average middle-class (or above) boy coming from the average private school. Over the course of his studies, he has been taught plenty of subjects, but one thing that is conspicuous for its absence is the need to take responsibility for his actions, and to be prepared to face the inevitable consequences of his failings.

By being offered a protected environment where the student is a client and where extra effort is made so that his feelings are not hurt, the schools are going a long way towards making the student unfit to face the harsh realities of life. The same cycle is repeated in the university, where he is often led to believe – often contrary to all evidence – what a fine student he is. The resulting disillusionment when the protection is suddenly taken away at the time of graduation has potential to be overwhelming for many students. Sure, some will be able to cope with it purely because of their extraordinary temperament, but most will struggle to come to terms with the new realities.

The trouble, like most things, starts at home, where babies are often treated as little angels. And to be sure, they are angels – they are cute, adorable, helpless – but they are not angels in the sense of being perfect in conduct. They are mean, acquisitive, cruel, self-centered, selfish, and they need to be taught to control these emotions. (No, it’s not a fault in human design: considerations of self-preservation and self-interest are necessary ingredients for the survival of the species – only they need to be reined in, especially now that we live in societies). The parents often fail to do so. The little kids like to believe that they are the center of the universe – and they are, for their parents. However, this is often prolonged – at the long-term detriment of the kids of course. Many parents for the most innocent of reasons fail to even recognise the need to do otherwise. Some of these kids therefore remain kids for life.

There are many definitions of life; but having one big ball is not one of them. Life has its inevitable ups and downs; and for most men there’s no father-figure or big-brother who can be relied upon to bail them out of all troubles

One sometimes hears of young graduates taking their own lives after they fail to cope with the new realities of life when suddenly the pampered environment is taken away from them at the time of graduation. Depression and other less severe problems are much more frequent and widespread. Every time one such incident makes the headlines, the knee-jerk response is to stress on a better support system for students (which is a great thing). But the result on the ground almost always consists of making the environment at schools and universities even more indulging and pampering for the students. This, instead of addressing the issue, makes matters even worse.

While the real utility (or lack thereof) of learning a subject or submitting a term paper on time can be debatable; allowing students to treat these things nonchalantly does absolutely no service to the training of their character. Of course, it’s one thing to choose not to do any of these things; but it’s quite another to expect (and demand) to be somehow bailed out even after failing to do so. We are currently producing such generations.

There’s of course a difference between being harsh and being firm when it comes to conduct of students. There’s no room in education (at any level) for harshness. Firmness, on the other hand, especially if it is accompanied by fairness, is crucial for the right nurture of character. For not only the student who keeps getting away with stuff without consequences is sure to harden in in his habits, the meticulous student also gets disillusioned when he sees others being continuously bailed out. 

There are many definitions of life; but having one big ball is not one of them. Life has its inevitable ups and downs; and for most men there’s no father-figure or big-brother who can be relied upon to bail them out of all troubles. Nobody is immune from unforeseen misfortunes but adding to those misfortunes by one’s own actions is not the brightest of ideas. The sooner children learn this, the better. What is being done by parents and teachers and the schools is that this unpleasant task of educating children about consequences of actions is being postponed for later and later, until finally the young find themselves thrown into the deep end with no preparation whatever.

A sense of false entitlement, and a belief that life owes one something special is the worst education that can be given to the youth. It seems that we are currently doing precisely that. Which is a great disservice to the youth, for there’s a cruel world out there, with problems much more challenging than hurt feelings.