(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf on Monday invited applications for the post of Chairman’s Pir.
The advertisement, which was published in all major Urdu and English daily newspapers other than Jang and The News, read that the job description required the provision of spiritual services to the party chairman “in an effective and timely manner.”
The position was recently vacated as a result of the previous applicant’s promotion to a higher party position.
“The position of Chairman’s Pir is a senior portfolio and has demonstrably proven to lead to a rise within the party,” read the advertisement.
“Because of that, all the candidates should expect intense and severe competition for the position.” The advertisement also asked all in the interested candidates to bring along their original documents for a subsequent interview and said that the successful candidate is expected to have their own laptop, smartphone and water geyser.