Electoral allocation to PTI in exchange for reforms within Imran Khan: Sami-ul-Haq

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

PESHAWAR: Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam-Sami (JUI-S) chief Sami-ul-Haq clarified on Thursday that the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) agreed to implement reforms within Imran Khan for JUI-S’s electoral allocation in the shape of a political alliance for the 2018 elections.

While addressing the media, Sami-ul-Haq said that progressive reforms are being implemented to better integrate Khan’s brain with the rest of his body, and in turn the realm of human logic. The JUI-S head said those opposing such moves know “little of my abilities.”

Samiul-Haq also confirmed that the highest decision-making body of JUI-S had approved the alliance with PTI and rejected the option to ask for similar reforms within the Muttahida Maslij-e-Amal (MMA).

While discussing both options, the council’s members said the JUI-S had intellectual harmony with PTI and its chief.

They suggested that rather than going for reforms within MMA, which would require multiple heads to be opened, the party should opt for the same with PTI, where only one needs fixing.

Announcing the Shura’s decision, Sami-ul-Haq, however, said his party was in contact with religious parties outside MMA. “A similar alliance in workable with so many parties that we are spoilt for choice,” he said.

The JUI-S chief maintained that any allocation requires responsible planning and that he is sure of getting the desired reforms, ‘even if they might appear impossible to bloody liberals’.