Jemima’s brother would have been better than this phateecher, maintains Imran Khan

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

Criticising visiting London mayor Sadiq Khan for being a bit of a railu-katta, PTI chairman Imran Khan has said that Zac Goldsmith, his former brother-in-law and defeated mayoral candidate, would still have made a better mayor “I mean the man has style,” he said, speaking to reporters at a press conference in Bani Gala.

“Whereas Sadiq Khan made his way up from working class roots, Zac has always been rich, so he wouldn’t even need to be corrupt. I’ve always maintained that the rich don’t have the need to be corrupt.” “Plus, as I mentioned so eloquently (thank you) recently, the liberals are the most dangerous people in this country.

They are also dangerous outside the country. Zac understands this and belongs, faithfully, to the Conservative Party. The party of men, not lefty dweebs.”

“And people keep talking about Sadiq being representative of an international cosmopolitan city, but it is Zac that has the requisite international exposure due to his proximity with world leaders,” he said.

“Like Imran Khan, for instance.”

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