The victim’s standpoint

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A little empathy can go a long way

A few years ago, I found myself in the ICU terminally ill after suffering from acute necrotizing pancreatitis; an ailment that causes inflammation in the pancreatic gland. My condition had deteriorated quickly primarily due to breathing strain which had been caused by the presence of pleural fluid in my left lung that had subsequently collapsed. Despite the effusions (which involved draining the lungs through syringes), the improvement was insignificant and I was referred to a pulmonologist who decided to give me a permanent chest drain.

I was being attended by two friends when the team of doctors arrived into my narrow cubicle and elucidated the procedure to me. I was told that I would be given local anesthesia and a tube which is quite similar to a water hose in appearance, would be inserted through the lateral side of my chest, a few inches below my armpit. I was in a scanty OT gown that could be laced at the backside which needed to be partially removed for the performance of the procedure. The excruciating exercise was over in few minutes with an addition of another tube that now draped my body.

Some three weeks later, I was moved from the ICU to the ward, well on the road to recovery. As per protocol, I was under strict observation and had to run tests on a daily basis. One such day, I was wheeled into the radiology department of the hospital for an ultrasound.

As I waited for my turn, a doctor (a pulmonology resident) who had assisted the surgeon with my minor surgical procedure paced by me, then suddenly came to a halt, took a few steps back and stood right across me. I sat paralyzed, inexplicably troubled as he gawked at me from across the corridor with a conceited sneer on his face — an encounter that had only lasted a few seconds left me scared stiff and forcefully ashamed.

I was mortified by a mere unpleasant gaze, what most people would term inconsequential or rather trivial. But a medical practitioner that I had trusted in my most vulnerable and defenseless state, violated his professional boundaries and had transgressed his code of conduct. Simply stated — I felt harassed.

As a society we fail to exercise empathy, harassment is a fairly subjective term, however it is imperative to recognize that it is not for people but for the victim to decipher its connotation and implication. What may appear mundane to other individuals, might account for a deeply disconcerting and traumatic experience for the victim in question.

In the onslaught that followed Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy’s tweets, people picked sides, launched belligerent attacks at opposing parties and the noise as per usual drowned the most important aspect; understanding the issue from the victim’s perspective – empathy.