Nation’s misogynists accept Mahira Khan’s apology


LAHORE/KARACHI/ISLAMABAD – Moments after Actor Mahira Khan said sorry for her pictures with fellow star Ranbir Kapoor in New York, nation’s misogynists wasted no time in accepting Mahira’s heartfelt apology.

According to reports, the apology was accepted in urban and rural areas alike, with The Dependent receiving shahaadats from all across the country.

“If one were to be nitpicky, one might argue that it could’ve come earlier, but let’s just acknowledge a good deed,” said Qasim Ahmed, a millennial misogynist.

“Finally these stars are realising their responsibility. I’m thankful to Mahira Khan for sending a clear message to every woman who might think she can dress or smoke according to her own will,” said Saima Qayuum, with 47 years of experience in internalised misogyny.

Ayub Tahir, a leading realist misogynist, claimed that the timing of Mahira’s apology actually makes sense.

“With Verna releasing in a week, this is wonderful publicity that caters to the majority: us misogynists,” Tahir told The Dependent.

A common theme among the received shahaadats was Mahira’s mention of how her nani or mamoo would’ve been disappointed, which helps the quest of the nation’s misogynists of upholding patriarchy.

At press time, nation’s male and female feminists were still arguing whether a Facebook friend request alone constitutes harassment.