And the ‘Facebook friend request’ overreaction
Notwithstanding the pride she brought to Pakistan, her recent tweets during the friend request saga were absurd and in no way justifiable
The social media frenzy surrounding the ‘me too’ trend became rather popular, even in Pakistan. Women from all walks of life took to social media in an attempt to raise their voice against harassment and used the trend as a tool to comfortably narrate whatsoever harassment they had faced. It is daunting to see the amount of narrations of harassment the women in our society face every day. Our mothers, sisters, wives and daughters all have faced some sort of harassment in their lives.
Amidst the social media hysteria, the feminists and other advocates of women empowerment were at center-stage calling out against the ill-treatment of women in the society. The most pivotal instance that, coincidentally, collided with the ‘me too’ trend is the heavily debated Facebook friend request.
Let us follow through with a brief background behind this debate and then continue our discussion. Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy’s sister received medical aid at one of the most prestigious hospitals of the country, in their emergency ward, where she was attended by a male doctor. Following her discharge, Miss Chinoy’s sister received a friend request on Facebook by the same doctor who had treated her.
All hell broke loose in the aftermath of this friend request. A series of tweets by Sharmeen levelled frivolous allegations of harassment. It included generalizing the general populous of Pakistan as well whilst she wrote ‘There are zero boundaries in Pakistan’. Miss Chinoy further lambasted the doctor and in plain simple language threatened him. “Unfortunately the doctor messed with the wrong women in the wrong family and I will definitely report him! “ First thing’s first, the doctor’s actions were unethical and beyond the standards of professionalism expected of a doctor. The use of personal information in such way amounts to stalking and any person or patient, as the case may be, can feel uncomfortable experiencing anything similar.
The Oscar winner feminist however went overboard with her follow up tweets. Terming the doctor’s act as unethical would suffice, but labelling the same as harassment blows things out of proportion. The dynamics of harassment are much different as compared to the friend request in question. As the word speaks for itself, the act of the doctor, though not appreciated, was a request which could be turned down by one simple click. A disciplinary complain followed by action which was in direct proportion to the act would have been sufficient. Nonetheless, the doctor was removed from service by the hospital administration as a consequence of Miss Chinoy’s complain or undue abuse of influence as some people have termed it.
It is encouraging to witness a voice being raised against harassment but at the same time sorrowful to see facts being misconstrued and factual misconceptions created resultantly. Miss Chinoy is a figure, other women look up to. Needless to say she has encouraged dozens of women to step forward against harassment, domestic violence or any sort of ill-treatment of women. She has also undoubtedly brought glory back home and made the country proud.
Nevertheless, one thing Miss Chinoy missed out is the fact that she resides in an intolerant society. One mistake in the eyes of the general public is enough to erase the good deeds of any individual. Notwithstanding the pride she brought to Pakistan, her recent tweets during the friend request saga were absurd and in no way justifiable. Stretching the folds of harassment to this extent will only result in a chaotic environment simply because such incidents are witnessed with every breath we take. Categorizing friend requests as a form of harassment is preposterous and coming from an educated individual becomes even more ludicrous.
Furthermore, there remains available an option to block a certain user from reaching out to anyone again. Consequently, the course Sharmeen and her sister should have, ideally, adopted was to have rejected the friend request, blocked the user and reported the incident as it was to the hospital administration. Simple disciplinary proceedings followed by a strict warning would have sufficed in the present circumstances. As per my understanding the dismissal from service is despotic at the very outset. An arguable case under the labor laws of Pakistan can be made for wrongful termination.
If Miss Chinoy accepts her over-reaction, then I find it just to forgive her for her exuberant display of feminism however refusal to step down and continued justification of her tweets would be uncalled for. It is one thing to expect tolerance from the general public, but the onus to be careful in choosing their words lies with the celebrities and the public figures. Since her introduction as an Oscar winner, Miss Chinoy continues to be a mainstream figure in the feminist struggle and women empowerment of Pakistan.
Another thing she needs to realize is her following globally is widespread. Any words coming out of her are heard and comprehended by thousands of people worldwide, many of whom have only seen our country through Sharmeen’s lens. Propagating false misconceptions about the country is also not considered wise by many quarters. There is a thin fine line between raising a voice and condemning one self’s country and it is crucial that that line is respected.
Despite the outcome of the ensuing circumstances let us all not stick to twitter battles and move ahead in our lives. Every human being is capable of errors and it would be unjust to turn the world upside down on them for doing so. Had it not been for the poor choice of words by Sharmeen and her accusation of harassment, there was nothing wrong in stepping ahead and calling out on someone. For different people different things might amount to an uncomfortable experience but is also not expected of our educated class to stretch the same.
People like Sharmeen who are an inspiration for many need to be careful in choosing their words after all it has a certain level of impact on people not educated to their standards. If the educated class was to label Facebook friend requests as harassment then soon the use of the ‘poking’ feature on Facebook will be considered as an attempted rape.