Internal Reliability and Ethics in Present Scenario

Religious sermons don’t fascinate and appeal every reader rather texts being too religious become boring for some. But the same idea written in an amusing way of description for self help would be attractive for the readers to apply in daily routine of life. The religious sayings are taken more beneficial for the hereafter than the life before death. On the contrary, philosophical and psychological self help books are considered effective to survive in the present world before death. Touching the universal chord, the power of positive approach can never be placed separate from religious texts. Only divine book can remain valid in every age; even philosophical ideas can be changed with time.

If you are interested in reading books, you must have seen any book written by Dale Carnegie either in the book stalls of the platforms, bus stands or passing by Anarkali Lahore or Saddar Karachi. Carnegie’s books are so common and have been translated in many languages including urdu.

Meethay bol mein jadu hay , Jeenay ka naya andaz, Preshan hona chorya jeena sikhya, Zehni dabayo say nijat, Zindagi guzarnay ke sunehri asool, Nakami say bachnay ka fun, Khud Eitamadi barhayen, Dolat o shuhrat ka zeena    and many more

Most of the translated version is a part of Carnegie’s well known book How to Win Friends and Influence People which came out in November 1936 and has gone on to sell more than 30 million copies worldwide.

Before reading the book deeply, I found it weird as it was published in 1936 and especially its translated version with ordinary titles seemed to me irrelevant in today’s society. But quite contrary to this thinking, it is still fitted so well after eighty years that one can compare the examples described in the book years ago. Dale Carnegie’s books with timeless principles are still as applicable today as they were when he had authored them. They can be helpful in achieving maximum potential in the complex and competitive modern age. Franchised trainers conduct programs and courses based on his principles all over the world using a standardised curriculum. Dale Carnegie Training has more than 3,000 trainers and consultants, operating in 300 offices in over 90 countries impacting organisations, teams and individuals. Dale Carnegie did a lot of research in regard to leadership too. Carnegie taught very simple rules of interaction. He talks about human characteristics: don’t lie, be pleasant, smile to see others etc. One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people’s behavior by changing one’s behavior toward them. When dealing with people, Carnegie says, “We are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion.”

It’s amongst the worth-reading books through which one comes across the different aspects of human psychology and reaction. One can truly relate his personal experiences to the examples described in the book which can be helpful in understanding how to react in similar states. Carnegie was of the opinion that it was not character and inner moral fiber that mattered to be successful in the modern world, but it was more personal development and the ability to handle people. It is delightful to read his books but the points dealing with present and life after death found in divine book have far more deep effect if read with understanding and application. Finding personal satisfaction is no easy thing. Either these are worldly business matters or dealings at home, the holy book or the books based completely on our religion guide and far more helpful for the success with peace in both worlds.

Critically at certain points it is felt as Carnegie’s approach of kindness is just for personal advancement and this outer personality development is more effective than inner moral for worldly benefits. But his approach could be taken in the sense that positive reactions would be the outcome of positive behavior. It is up to the reader that how he incorporates Carnegie’s rules into his life.  Intentions matter why the reader is reading the book. There is difference in winning people or influencing them. In business, dealing with people or making friends, it is quite very helpful in learning tactics and winning the hearts, on the other hand it also can be fit at certain points in manipulation techniques though writer’s intent would not be so.  The evil portion tends to come in when you skip sincerity. If sincerity is kept in every advice, it makes every segment clearly positive.

The idea of trying to control or “influence” people using praise seems dishonest to me. We can’t spin the idea placing it on positive and peaceful side. This looks quite a tricky approach. Art of Flattery gets place negatively. It is in human nature to be appreciated. If praise would be with sincerity and big heart, it would definitely work otherwise it would not make its place for a long time.

I personally liked ‘DON’T’ suggestions by Carnegie as they are more near to sincere and positive approach. Don’t frown, don’t talk about unpleasant topics, and don’t argue with your customer or your spouse or your adversary.  These are forbidden states and forbidden states always impact more deeply. But what about the state ‘Don’t tell them they are wrong’.  Obviously this is to Be Diplomatic. This unsettled me.  I think diplomacy either in countries, nations or individuals leads to conflict and tensions after a time. It doesn’t lead to peace.

In the past few years psychologists and researchers have been studying all over the world to find out what makes us happy and how to behave in society for a successful life.  The books based on Quran and spiritualism dealing with inner happiness throw light on the ways how to act and react in life, and surely it gives not only satisfaction to the reader but also opens new ways for a peaceful life.  Quran stresses to be clear and precise in speech and to avoid double meaning sentences. Diplomatic words are to be avoided. “Talk straight, to the point, without any ambiguity or deception” [33:70] It is always best to begin with a smile. In Surah Luqman , “And turn not your face away with pride; Nor walk with insolence. Verily! Allah does not like arrogance. And be moderate in your pace, and lower your voice.” The Quran [31:19] Islam has expressed its disapproval of the meaningless and diplomatic talks. “Say with your mouth what is in your heart” [3:167] No one likes hypocrisy rather transparency is liked everywhere. “When you voice an opinion, be just, even if it is against a relative” [6:152] “Speak in a civilised manner in a language that is recognised by the society and is commonly used” [4:5] Flowery phrases and philosophical words are not liked where they are not understandable for the listeners. It looks foolish to impress the people with the language which they can’t get easily.

Moral values, character and virtues still have great place in a modern consumer economy. Internal reliability and ethics cannot be ignored either it is leadership, politics, business or individual interactions. There should be training institutes based on the teachings of holy Quran dealing with the rules of interaction, self help, management, trade and leadership for the youth in this modern era. There is dire need to develop trusted platforms to build partnership with youth through education, employment and training of moral values. The young population with healthy and peaceful minds can play vital role in the development and progress of a country.  Carnegie’s self help rules or other books teaching tactics for being successful in life can only be helpful when there would be internal reliability, sincerity and truth in every sphere of life.