Malala accepts Oxford’s application


After a strenuous application process, Oxford University was delighted to have been accepted by Malala Yousafzai for a Bachelor’s program.

“Really gave it our heart and soul and worked really hard for this,” said Dr Chris Patten, the university’s chancellor. “My heart was pounding when I got her response in the mail. I almost couldn’t open the letter and asked my mom to open it and tell me if we were accepted.”

Alas, as is the case in all college application seasons, some make it while others don’t. The world’s second oldest continuous university’s acceptance did rankle the world’s third oldest continuous university, Cambridge. “I don’t know what to do,” said a bawling Cambridge vice chancellor Leszek Borysiewicz. “We gave it our all……”

He is not alone. The rejection is not being taken well at MIT, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, CalTech and the dozens or so other colleges that applied.

On the other hand, some varsities were not as badly affected. “We didn’t even apply, said Martha E Pollack, president of Cornell University. “Who doesn’t want to reach for the stars, but at the end of the day, we should evaluate ourselves and honestly think whether we would make the cut.”

“We could always hope for graduate school,” she added.