Nation grateful as man accused of laundering billions kind enough to offer explanation

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ISLAMABAD – The nation collectively expressed its gratitude and acknowledged the kindness of the high-esteemed individual who came all the way to appear before an investigation team just so he could explain charges of corruption and money laundering worth billions of rupees earlier today.

The kind man, Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif, who also multitasks as the Prime Minister of Pakistan to complement his full-time responsibilities of bestowing the state with unprecedented generosity, today appeared before a Joint Investigation Team (JIT) compromising of lesser important and lesser kind people, from lesser significant institutions.

“What a man!” exclaimed Arooj Jameel, a small business owner in Rawalpindi. “It takes unfathomable amount of integrity and self-esteem to offer evidence that one is not a thief,” he added.

“This has inspired me to be a better human,” confesses Shuakat Mehmood, a philanthropist who voluntarily teaches underprivileged children on the weekends.

“It can be argued that explaining an act is, more often than not, more difficult than committing it,” believes Hamid Bhatti, another grateful citizen.

“So we must all commend the man for doing what no one in the history has done. And if he is indeed found guilty, that he went through so much to explain his stance – albeit fallaciously – should be enough for the nation to forgive him.”