Dear PM, you just had the last laugh

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It took three sackings and ‘disciplinary action’ for the dust to settle

 

‘Dawn Leaks is a bigger issue for PML-N than Panamagate,’ said a Sahab who is in the know of all that goes around one December evening. ‘It revolves around National Security, young man. Nothing is more important, more vital than National Security,’ he informed

 

Last Wednesday a thunderstorm lost its terror, oracles went silent, prophesies of doom were proved wrong, fast approaching ‘The End’ vanished, whispers of something ‘terrible’ withered away. Congratulations, dearest sirs and ma’ams, we, the forgotten sons and imperiled daughters, just outlived another ‘infructuous’ war between two elders.

The pundits yelled and raised hell as the news of PM meeting chief of army staff roared on the telly. The hired hummingbirds of Pindi ensured every man jack that things have reached a point of no return and a new dawn minus NS will set.

Enter press conference of DG ISPR where he announced withdrawal of ‘tweet’ and sang a hymn and two praising democratic process and Pindi’s commitment to democracy followed by a notification from ministry of interior that said a settlement has been reached in categorical terms. The whole succession of events reminds me of Charlie Brown from comic strip Peanuts who once, disappointed, said, ‘I learned that what you sign up for and what you get are two different things’.

Before moving forward I request two minutes of silence to honour the once potent and agile ‘tweet’ which was recanted and labelled fruitless, unprofitable and unfruitful by its father. The outright rejection of a missive from PM Office by DG ISPR foreordained something dark and sinister. Well, the drop scene was neither dark nor sinister, more of a shoddy display of slapstick gone stale.

Anyways, thank you Maj General Asif Ghafoor for giving us an opportunity to pause, google, and ponder a word that aptly sums up our great many private affairs and public endeavors.

‘Dawn Leaks is a bigger issue for PML-N than Panamagate,’ said a Sahab who is in the know of all that goes around one December evening. ‘It revolves around National Security, young man. Nothing is more important, more vital than National Security,’ he informed. ‘Nawaz Sharif’s premiership is hanging by a thread. And the commission report will boot him out,’ Sahab had conviction in his voice back then. I called him again three days back, he told me to wait and watch. ‘Things are far from over, NS will be held accountable,’ he assured. And thus the Sisyphean cycle of hopeless hope continues.

Those of you who closely followed the whole Dawngate episode unfold must know who was alluded to, referred to in acronyms, and insinuated as the main culprit behind the leaks. Well, that ‘main’ culprit is very much there, very much cozy, very much active, and very much looking to sit on the throne.

Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif on 20 April 2017 and Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif on 10 May 2017 are two different men. The 20 days gave him an opportunity to recuperate from blows past and prepare for battles ahead. The Panamagate verdict injured the PM a little. Within days the ISPR tweet prodded his wounds. Things were going south, and then…

And then the Supreme Court took up petition against PTI supremo Imran Khan and Jahangir Khan Tarin filed by PML-N leader Hanif Abbasi, during arguments the Apex Court seemed unimpressed by their lawyer’s contention on foreign funding. Shahbaz Sharif sends Rs10 billion defamation notice to Imran Khan as IK alleged that Sharifs offered him Rs1 billion to shut his gob on Panama Papers. And the cherry on top is that the Capital’s civic authority labelled his Bani Gala Palace illegal and recommended that it be razed to the ground. Know how irony and fate sucker punched him? IK wrote a letter to the Chief Justice of Pakistan to take suo motu on encroachments in his area. That is how.

Now, it ain’t the PM who is in the dock for now. It is IK and gang. JIT will work in cold seclusion of the federal judicial academy for next two months and SC will hear petitions in the open. Khan sahab just got bit in the back by the same tactics and tricks he mastered on others. Without exception we all have skeletons in our closets, however, the ghosts from the past haunt us when they are brought in open for all to survey and comment upon.

Although rare it may be, the mighty khakis gave in to shaky civvies. Three sackings and two ‘disciplinary actions’ were offered by the PM office. Pindi got its share of the pie. Let’s move on to another crisis, fellas

Lastly, dearest sirs and ma’ams, all things that go awry, go awry because sometime, somewhere, someone did something he should have abstained from doing. In our case, it began the moment our guards became our guardians and graduated to gurus who not only called the shots and assigned the buck but dished out ‘character certificates’ necessary to live, breathe and survive in this blighted, bigoted land we call home.

Although rare it may be, the mighty khakis gave in to shaky civvies. Three sackings and two ‘disciplinary actions’ were offered by the PM office. Pindi got its share of the pie. Let’s move on to another crisis, fellas.

We, a nation of bystanders, eavesdroppers and spectators, love to cheer one side and, condemned to, loathe the other. While we keep at it, hearty congratulations PM, you just had the last laugh for now.