Moments before giving up, Central Information Secretary of the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) Dr Shireen Mazari told reporters that the split decision of the Supreme Court was a victory for an entity that she did not elaborate on.
“Actually, if you look at it from a particular angle, this verdict of the Supreme Court is a victory for…..,” she said, before heaving a world-weary sigh. “It is a victory for….”
“Well, you know how there were two judges who….,” said the Member of National Assembly, before breaking down into tears. “F*** this, the press conference is over.”
Analysts predict that party leaders Asad Umar and Naeem-ul-Haq will still claim victory in an evening press conference, which will also sputter to a halt in the middle, after tremors in their voices. Other analysts, while differing, claim that Asad Umer has already updated his CV on LinkedIn while party spokesperson Naeem-ul-Haq has privately expressed an interes in devoting his time to setting up an ostrich farm.