You’re probably familiar with morning shows. Morning TV in this country is ruled by a certain class of pompously happy women smiling through gritted teeth, overly enthusiastic about the morning.
You will see them persistently spreading their magic on every channel from 9 to 11 in the morning and there is no escape unless you turn it off and pretend that this side of TV does not exist.
However, these shows have nothing original to offer. It’s just a matter of who will copy which show better. Clueless crowds, absurdly expensive sets, you name it. It is like they’re running a secret competition to decide which morning show is going to be more ridiculous. And for the time being it seems like they’re all winning.
Following are the 9 recurrent themes that we’ve seen happening on every morning show. That said, it was an uphill task to bring these down to just 9.
1. Tasteless Drama
There’s going to be people raiding couples in parks, random families fighting over domestic issues, hosts provoking guests. Chances are if you’re a morning show aficionado (or not), you’ve seen it all.
This one took the cake, hands down— the one gig that took “classy” up a notch.
However, the host later confessed on TV that this was all staged.
2. Fake crying guests (Since the more believably emotional, the better)
Same woman, same show, two months apart. Tsk, tsk. I don’t know how daft they take their audience to be.
3. Old-school rishtas happening on live TV
4. Awkwardness on sets (read: more tasteless drama)
5. Live exorcism on TV
Yes, that happened. And was all the rage at one point in time.
And all this time, the host is just so awed by his own presentation; he doesn’t know what to say.
6. Elaborately themed shaadi weeks
We have mayuns, mehndis, baraats, valimas, the whole works— and the more extravagant, expensive looking and far from reality, the better.
7. Mindless games
Most of the times guests are asked to play games in shows which for some reason we should find entertaining. Why would anyone want to see two people blowing balloons together at 9 in the a.m. is beyond me.
8. How to turn into the “White” queen overnight
According to rishta aunties on these shows, if you’re a girl and not fair, NO rishtas for you.
9. The age old “weight” discussion
These morning shows will make you feel like you should just go home and lock yourself up in your room, if you’re not their kind of patli.
This host even suggested as much.
But this wasn’t always the same. There was a time, not quite long ago, when morning shows used to be simpler, their themes more realistic, and their auras enthusiastic. The morning show has come a long way since then, and sadly if it stays on the same path, the future doesn’t look too bright.
What we have is two hours of uncut, unfiltered, reckless live TV that will entail every facet they think there is to a (stay-at-home) woman’s life and will ‘inadvertently’ go on mocking women forever. People behind these shows justify this madness by saying that women want to see this. However, what they’re essentially doing is dumbing down women who choose to watch this gibberish on TV for the lack of a better option.
