Chanting their demand for Bullsh*t to be included as one of the national languages in the upcoming census, the nation’s largest body of Bullsh*tters gathered on Constitutional Avenue in Islamabad on Saturday.
“We demand for what is the national lingua franca, come to think of it, to be included as one of the slots we can tick in the language category in this census,” said Shabbir Ahmed, one of the leaders of the protest. “We have been ignored for far too long!”
“We do not want to adapt ourselves to whatever machination the positive framework of the state has set for us,” said Ghayas Hassan. “Our brethren are forced to write Punjabi, Sindhi, Pashto, Balochi, Urdu, Seraiki, Hindko, Khowar and a host of other languages, but none can enter the language that they feel most comfortable in.”
“Because of crackdowns, some amongst us have even started hiding their language. In fact, we have it on good authority that a large number of the nation’s political leadership also speaks it. Also key figures in the civil and military bureaucracy,” continued Hassan. “This is one of the saddest things I have seen anywhere.”
“Now, if you excuse me, I have to go to the mechanic who is fixing my Mercedes and then go to this party my cousin is throwing, where I can assure you, Mahira Khan is also expected to show up.”