Conduct Unbecoming

Rudeness online is cutting through friendships, creating acrimony, any attempt at a decent exchange ending into a virtual altercation. Name-calling, casting slurs on another, squabbling like street urchins and then each insistent upon justifying his/her stance is Conduct Unbecoming.

‘Anonymity is a powerful force. Hiding behind a fake screen name makes us feel invincible, as well as invisible. Never mind that, on many websites, we are not as anonymous as we think—and we’re not anonymous at all on Face book. Even when we reveal our real identities, we still misbehave.” (Wall Street Journal October 2, 2012) However, what about whatsapp groups, latest social forum in vogue? There are no hidden identities, no hidden or fake personas- yet the mudslinging can reach bile rising proportions.  Even internationally known and/or nationally known personalities are known to fall below acceptable decent standards.

Let’s specifically talk about Pakistan and Pakistani social forums. We as a nation are suffering from such a deep lack of self-respect whether it is towards the government, towards political parties, towards other institutions that has led mindsets to develop. These mindsets refuse to discuss any issue with respectful standards of interaction, since civil administration has failed to deliver in terms of good governance there is a constant fear that the party gurus/supporters keep pushing; of Army taking over. On the other hand, any pointer by an individual from the institution historically having committed a blunder is taken as an attack on an institution not as an individual wrong. The argument will quickly accelerate to choicest words in the others’ honor. Similar is the attitude between political party people of different parties.  The same happens between supporters of different political parties. The recent incident of allegedly speeding Army Officers stopped by Motorway Police is one, which saw sharply polarized groups on social forums getting personal, hurling abuses at each other. This is the educated lot with access to computers, good quality cell phones, understanding of English language. The attitude is not to address message with logic and rationality- it is to shoot the messenger.

Why have we become such an intolerant nation? It is time to reflect.

There is an everyday intolerance that seems to be taking over the country. Murder of Salman Taseer is an example that stands out like a sore thumb.  Whereas these forums should be springboards of discussions, open exchange of views on issues and solution based, constructive way-forward dialogue, more and more they are regressing into an extension of the problem called intolerance afflicting the Pakistani society.  A society riddled with biases, intolerance, sarcasm, hatred and general abusive behavior throws up the same on its social forums as well. There is a dangerous trend in Pakistan; intolerance that breeds contempt and hatred for another point of view. Whereas, social media can be used as a tool to change the attitude of intolerance, it’s being used to reinforce it. Swept under the carpet is the education, the background one comes from- vicious anger, hatred, frustrated responses laced with abusive terminology takes its place.

An excerpt from The Newsweek Middle East, “It was because of this process—of social media helping spread the news and footage of the attack on the televangelist—that society’s increasing intolerance and penchant for violence is almost immediately brought to people’s mobile phone screens (as opposed to television screens and living rooms in the past when the digital media had not yet overtaken mainstream in dissemination of news and information).” (This was in relation to former musician Junaid Jamshed attacked on Islamabad airport.

“People should top treating differing views on a whatsapp group as an existential threat to Pakistan. Immature and childish,” says Ali Ahsan, member of a whatsapp group which saw a huge row due to a polarized approach by its members.

Senior Orthopedic Surgeon Khushnood Ali Baaz says, “Every one of us has an opinion on each and every subject, like it or not, we should respect it. The problem arises when somebody expresses his/her opinion against a certain institution (Army, Political party, Politicos, Judiciary etc), people take that as a personal attack and as a result a personal spat ensues degenerating into a bazaari language argument. We all have the right to be critical of an institution or individual but that criticism should be constructive and should be substantiated by facts. Why stoop to becoming personal and calling people names and being sarcastic?”

We are so conditioned to one particular approach towards an issue or institution/individual, that it is simply impossible for us to accept a diverse approach. We will insult, fight, and crib. Why? Maybe it gives us our 10 seconds in a faded limelight that missed us in our life, or maybe we are a once-has-been and crave attention we had once. Maybe more loyal to the king than the king himself one wants to act big, throw those words around that one otherwise do not have an opportunity to throw. Act as someone we usually otherwise are not- the King of our world unlike the Rat we have always been?

Joe Concha asks, “Does it go even deeper than just taking cheap shots from the cheap seats? In the end, we are mostly a nation of complainers. There are exceptions, of course. No scientific study to come to this conclusion is needed…just study your Twitter feed or read the average comments section on the web. We whine, we criticize, we insult, we patronize because it makes us feel better about ourselves for a minute or two.” (September 23, 2013)

What is important is for us to try bridge gaps instead of widen them via social media. To seek better understanding by really listening to the ‘other’ point of view. To  help cover the gaps between different segments of society.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” (Martin Luther King Jr.)

The writer is a lawyer, academic and political analyst. She has authored a book, ‘A Comparative Analysis of Media and Media Laws in Pakistan.’ Her mail ID is [email protected]tweets at @yasmeen_9