90,000 motorway policemen sign surrender to rash drivers, kidnappers

Our Motorway Correspondent

Motorway

In a shocking turn of events, an estimated 90,000 officials of the National Highways and Motorways police have signed an unconditional surrender to the nation’s rash drivers.

“We hereby sign this unconditional surrender to the rash drivers and other criminals that might ply the nation’s motorways and national highways,” said IGP NH&MP Khizar Bhatti, speaking to reporters in Lahore. “This is an absolutely unconditional surrender. My only plea is for our new commanding officers to treat us with the respect that the Geneva Convention has decreed for POWs.”

On the other side of the table, accepting the surrender order, was Ishaaq “Shaka” Hussain, who runs an unregistered weapons freight business, buying arms from the Orakzai agency and selling in interior Punjab, and uses the National Highways system to transport his goods. “We assure these 90,000 that no harm will come to them, specially since they are also giving us their service pistols.”

Amongst those accepting the surrender was Shahid “Rocket” Butt, a well-known racer from Lahore, who has been booked thrice was participating in a 15-car race across the M3 (Pindi Bhattian-Faisalabad.) “We welcome this development and hope that it ushers a new era of peace and prosperity in the country, where everyone knows their place.”