Our fiscal Correspondent
Islamabad
In a constitutional amendment on Friday, the nation’s taxpayers were declared a minority by both the National Assembly and the Senate in Islamabad.
The move was the result of a long-awaited demand by the majority tax-evaders to finally put an end to the “taxpayer question.”
“We have put an end to this seventy-year-old problem,” said prime minister Nawaz Sharif, speaking to reporters outside the parliament. “Now, finally the nation can move on, putting this issue to bed.”
The prime minister, however, assured the nation’s taxpayers that no harm will come to them and that their new status as minorities will not mean that they would be targeted.
“I would caution the majority to respect the rights of the minorities. We strive to be an Islamic republic, so we should act like one,” he said.
Many analysts were critical of the community and said that they had brought about this misfortune upon themselves. “Where do you think thebandobast of the session came from? From their own money,” said Dr Haider Azhar, chair of the political science department at the Quaid-e-Azam University, Islamabad.
Others from the tax paying community, however, wished to change their faith in light of the current circumstances. “Want to pay taxes but just not worth the hassle, really,” said Omer Malik, a Lahore-based retailer.
Axact CEO issues 700 engineering degrees on first day of bail
Our controversy correspondent
Islamabad
In a clear signal to adversaries about his continued resolve, Axact CEO Shoaib Shaikh, who just got out on bail on Thursday last week, issued up to 700 engineering degrees in a degree-awarding spree.
“That’s right, not only am I going to pay my employees more, I’m also going to educate it up in this bi***h,” he said, while speaking to reporters.
“You, right there! Want an aerospace engineering degree from Sunfort University? You got it,” he screamed at the correspondent of one of the news channels.
“Feeling something Civil today? There you go, a masters in structural engineering, all in a nice, red, shiny degree,” he said.
“And that’s not all. For a limited time only, if you get a bachelors degree, you will automatically get a masters, absolutely for free! Offer is for limited time only: two months or till they take me away again, whichever comes first.”