Our very special correspondent
Karachi
A team of quantum physicists from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology flew in to Karachi in the wee hours of Saturday morning for a special study commissioned by the institute.
“We are here to study the ability of Pakistani TV personality Amir Liaqat’s ability to hold all possible positions on his erstwhile party, the MQM, at the same time,” said Dr Robert Katzenberg, lead physicist of the study.
“Keep in mind, states can change, the way molecules can break down and atoms can stop spinning or start spinning, or people can switch from one political party to another party,” continued Dr Katzenberg. “But our study in quantum physics is to figure out how elements like Amir Liaqat manage to hold completely different positions simultaneously.”
“The positions that we are interested in are not just discretely different but they are, by their nature, necessarily mutually exclusive,” said Dr Shireen Rafsanjani, 2nd lead physicist of the study. “Amir Liaqat says the attack on the TV offices was misrepresented; he also says that the anti-Pakistan slogans were unjustified, therefore the London Secretariat should be dissociated from; he says Altaf Hussain is still his leader and that the MQM is Altaf and Altaf is MQM; he says that Altaf Hussain is trying to kill him.”
“And he is saying all these things at, more or less, the same point in time,” she said.