Pledge made to protect nation’s ideological frontiers from India, Afghanistan and women’s cricket


    Our National Values Correspondent


    At an event organised by a collective of the nation’s leading conservative columnists at the Avari Hotel in Lahore, a pledge was made to protect the nation’s ideological frontiers from the ever-present threats of India, Afghanistan and women’s cricket.

    “On one side, we have a neighbour that was against our existence in the first place, on the other, a supposedly Muslim nation that hadn’t even recognised us in the first place,” said Orya Maqbool Jan, the guest-of-honour. “And then we have a group of women who think it is right to play cricket in front of everybody to see.”

    “We will never let the Indians, through their so-called ‘soft power’ shake down our ideological frontier and make us all Indian clones. We will never let the Afghans, through ancient people-to-people contacts, afghanise our areas,” he continued. “And we will never let girls who love a sport to actually act out on their filthy, base desires and actually play this sport as if they were men and destroy the family structure of this great land.”

    “The sight of a girl bowling, or even worse, fielding, is a much bigger threat to our country than an Indian tank or an Afghan child who has had complete access to education,” he concluded.