Pakistan Today

Khabaristan Today (Satire): UK doctors refuse Saleh Zaafir’s request to be stitched inside PM’s body, next to heart

Our Chamcha Correspondent

London

 

Sources at the Wembley Clinic in London have revealed that the hospital’s cardiologists had refused Pakistani journalist Saleh Zaafir’s request to be planted in the Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif’s body when they were stitching him back in.

“Though they obviously turned down this extremely unusual request, doctors at the clinic were still curious as to why the journalist wanted this procedure,” said the source.

“Because he is the greatest leader that the world has seen since Nelson Mandela and I want to examine, from up close, the very beating heart that has given this visionary such monumental compassion,” Zaafir is quoted as having said. “I want to do embedded journalism from right next to his heart.”

Zaafir also had plans for the events if the PM’s heart surgery didn’t go well. “I want to be buried in his tomb, Tutankhamun style, so that I could observe from up close how the angels interact with this soldier of Islam.”

Zaafir himself was unable for comment, as he was busy on his next story of investigative journalism about the PM’s fondness of bitter-gourd for dinner.

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