Courtesy NPR
A team of guards have taken to patrolling a park in Gujranwala, ready to hit young men on the buttocks with a big stick in a bid to stamp out eve-teasing.
“Eve-teasing happens a lot here, especially in the evening,” said Kashif Nawaz, a patrol member.
Nawaz added that many men come out “to shout, to pass comments to tease and hoot. They sometimes toss wads of paper, inscribed with their mobile phone numbers, at passing females”.
Considering the high level of sexual harassment of women, city authorities asked a team of guards to patrol the park which had turned into a prowling ground for young men. Although Mohammed Sayed, 25, another guard, does not relish the idea of hitting young men, he is prepared to do so to protect women.
According to a Lahore-based psychologist Ayesha Hidayat, lack of sex education is the reason behind many of the social evils in the country. “Inadequate sex education is one of the primary reasons why there is a lot of depression, suicidal attempts, aggression, violence, the child abuse and all those things in our society,” she said.
Speaking to NPR, a group of six young men in Lahore agreed that they lacked mentors with whom they could discuss sensitive personal issues.
“There is no one except your friends,” said 21-year-old Mudabir Ali. “I would never broach the topic of sex with my dad. The concept of religion and the teachings of religion [we’ve] been getting for such a long time stops you going to your father to discuss such things.”
Consulting a local religious cleric is also out of the question for 21-year-old Gohan Khan. “The clerics here, they do discuss these things. But they are not quite OK with questions that are not in line with religion. They feel offended,” he said.
The young men think their teachers would similarly be offended by a question about sex. In biology class, they say, the teacher will tiptoe around the human sexual organs, saying as little as possible.
The issue is particularly problematic for youngsters who have moved to a big city from generally more conservative parts of Pakistan to study.
“That’s the main problem. On the one side, you have this whole advertisement industry, you have Western movies, advertisements, fashion shows, when you come to metropolitan cities. And when you go back where you belong, there is no such thing,” said Zayid Ali, who is from a village in Punjab.
Ali, 22, thinks it is easier to date in Lahore compared to his hometown where parents arrange marriages between cousins. Although he is not dating anyone right now, he has decided that he would not allow his parents to arrange his marriage. However, any boy or girl who bucks tradition by forging a secret relationship is at serious, possibly mortal, risk.
As far as watching pornography over the internet is concerned, it only adds to confusion, anxiety and guilt. “It’s just very difficult here, when you see the pictures and [yet] you don’t forge a relationship with a woman,” 21-year-old Shaista Khan explained.
Psychologist Hidayat, who works with young people, believes that since they cannot discuss what they’re going through with anyone, young Pakistanis often feel guilty, “They feel that something very bad is happening inside them. They start judging and labeling themselves.”
However, she believes Pakistan is changing as sex education and counseling is coming into some schools. But it is a very long road.
