We know and understand that ‘actions speak louder than words’. We observe and talk about the body language and behaviour of others. We communicate our own emotions through actions. We expect obedience, humbleness, kindness and honesty from others. Specially, parents, teachers and elders have great expectations when it is a question of their children. They want the best for them and expect that in return they become good human beings and fulfill their wishes. This attitude is universal. In spite of all this, heart breaking incidents do occur. Teenagers and even children are involved in suicide, kidnapping, drugs, theft bullying, harassment and terrorism. These situations are reported each day and should be an eye opener for all of us.
What is happening today with our children and youth is the result of suppressed anger, frustration, unworthiness loneliness and emptiness inside. They do not understand the love of elders and we do not understand their love for us. This communication gap is a problem to all tragedies. The only solution is to bridge and overcome this gap through love and care. Listen to them. Speak to them. Trust them and do not discuss their behaviours or concerns in front of others. Children as well as teenagers hate this attitude and feel being ridiculed. This leads to withdrawn behaviour which makes them more vulnerable to negative thinking.
Instead of getting confused the simple answer to all these problems is awareness and action. Awareness to the extent to understand own potential to handle the situation and also to know the requirement and need of children. Young children mostly learn and understand through informal talk, storytelling and chatting where they do not feel threatened. Teenagers on the other hand want to be seen as grownups and responsible struggling to handle their problems themselves. They need support and assurance that the elders are there to listen to no matter whatever what happens. The bond between young and elders need to be so strong that there is a feeling of belongingness and care. This can only happen when we focus on our family system and strengthen it through sacrifice, dedication, care and giving it appropriate time.
FAUZIA SARDAR NIAZI
Islamabad