A short introduction
Punjabis are an ethno-linguistic group of Indo-Aryan peoples, originating from the Punjab region, found in Pakistan and northern India. There are over 160 million Punjabis in the world (roughly 100 million and 60 million respectively in Pakistan and India). Some people are of the view that half as many would have sufficed for the needs of the world. This is just an opinion; to date they have never been able to back it up.
The word ‘Punjab’ is a xenonym and exonym from the Persian words panj andaab. You can easily decipher this statement, provided you know the meaning of xenonym and exonym. Before you embark on the fascinating task, however, let me warn you that the literal meaning has very little relevance after the Indus Water Treaty.
In addition to Pakistan and India, a sizable number of Punjabis also resides in Canada, the UK, and the USA. Apparently, you can easily take a Punjabi out of the Punjab; but, to date, all efforts to take Punjab out of a Punjabi have failed spectacularly.
While for the most part the Punjabi tradition has been oral, the earliest written Punjabi works are believed to be from the 11th century. The Punjabi civilisation easily goes back thousands of years. Shrewd students of humanity can recognise this ancientness manifested on the faces of many Punjabis.
Lahore is the capital of the Pakistani Punjab (it has been the traditional capital of Punjab for a millennium now). Punjab accounts for more than half the population of Pakistan, and not unsurprisingly, as the Punjab goes, so goes the nation. Any central government without a majority in Punjab is, at best, a very weak government. The Indian Punjab, despite its economic and strategic significance, is not remotely as politically dominant in India.
Punjabis are for the most part peace-loving, accepting, tolerant, flexible and adaptive. The northern invaders never faced any resistance from Punjabis, especially from what later became the Pakistani Punjab. They were far too pragmatic to have appetite for useless wars; they had their fields to till and children to feed.
Punjabi is an ethno-linguistic (as opposed to a purely ethnic) group. Therefore, a description such as a Punjabi Pathan isn’t an oxymoron. In fact, people answering to the description are not even rare.
Punjabis have always been proud of their language, but a generation or two ago it suddenly dawned upon the urban folk (in Pakistani Punjab) that their mother-tongue wasn’t very easy on the ears (it didn’t sound sophisticated enough). Following this realisation, they stopped talking to their kids in Punjabi. Simultaneously, Punjabi lost patronage among the elite in the government. Consequently, it’s an endangered species now. On account of being less numerous and much less prolific breeders than their Pakistani counterparts, there’s only so much that Sikhs in India and abroad can do to arrest the decline of Punjabi.
Punjabi’s original script was Gurmukhi, although the Pakistani Panjabis use a variant of the Arabic alphabet. Arabic is more efficient than Gurmukhi (takes less motion to achieve the same result). This economy of movement suits the nature of Pakistani Punjabis to a T.
The British purportedly governed the parts of the empire that now constitute Pakistan on the basis of the aphorism: ‘Rule the Punjabis, intimidate the Sindhis, buy the Pushtun, and honour the Baloch.’ I am not sure about the rest, but the part about ruling Punjabis may not have been too far off the mark. Allama Iqbal too was of the opinion that the Punjabis were not very critical when it came to questioning religious authority (Ho khel mureedi ka to harta hai bohat jald, etc). The Allama was being very charitable – Punjabis are not critical in any situation. This straightforwardness, while endearing in its own charming way, has ended up damaging themselves (sometimes) or some other ethnic group (usually).
Most Punjabis are open-minded, liberal, and progressive. There’s malicious propaganda about their being despotic husbands, who are overly stern with their wives. The reality couldn’t be more different. Punjabi husbands, especially those that have had any sort of education, happen to be the most uxorious on the face of the planet. A mere glance from the Mrs is enough to make the chilliest of shivers run up the spine of an otherwise ruthless Punjabi leader of men. When a Punjabi talks of women rights he definitely has his money where his mouth is.
Doubts about the raison d’etre of Punjab are occasionally raised (sometimes lyrically, eg, ‘Ik sooba hai Punjab, ye maaloom naheen kioon‘). A mention of Bulleh Shah, Iqbal, Faiz, Manto, Khurshid Anwar and Munir Niazi ought to suffice by way of an answer to such doubts.
Every language has its strengths. English has the unmatchable facility of absorbing words from other languages; Persian and Urdu are extremely well suited to verse; French is the language of love (this, on the authority of people who are usually in the know of such things; the author’s own experiences of love and French, sadly, being rather limited). Punjabi is famous for its almost infinite capacity to express unpleasant and complicated ideas in a pithy, concise manner. (The more perceptive of my readers will doubtless realise that I am referring to expletives.) There are rumors about Punjabi parents whispering choice swear-words into the ears of their newly born, so that he grows up to pronounce them properly. Being a born and bred Punjabi myself, I can categorically repudiate the veracity of such claims.
Another standout feature of the Punjabi language – not entirely unconnected with the first – is that it is uniquely suited to expressing humor. Many a Punjabi joke has been spoilt when it was translated to another language. This may be true of other languages too, but the Punjabi joke punchline is well-nigh untranslatable. Out of the many different forms of comedy – satire, black comedy, deadpan comedy, surreal comedy, word-play, etc – the Punjabis have made the art of jugat (the closest translation would be insult comedy) their own. Comics from Faisalabad, Gujranwala, Sialkot, and – by virtue of migration – Lahore, are world’s leading exponents of this art.
Punjabis may not be the best-looking of all the ethno-linguistic groups of the Indian subcontinent, but they are very good-looking nevertheless. They may not be the smartest, but they are very resourceful. They may not be the most enterprising, but they sure know how to make money. There’s consensus on one thing though: They are the loudest of them all. A Punjabi postman definitely doesn’t need to knock twice.
It is said that prosperity, when it becomes widespread in a nation, is followed – in about twenty years’ time – by appreciation and cultivation, on the part of a not inconsiderable percentage of the population, of pursuits that stimulate the higher human faculties. Apparently this does not apply to the Punjabis. Reasons for this are not yet known at all. It can serve as a promising PhD topic for any budding researcher who aspires to a career as a taxi-driver.
Punjabis don’t differentiate between the two kaafs of Urdu. What’s more, most are not even aware of this rather grave shortcoming on their part.