How wearing the burqa made me realise it can be liberating
A year ago, I was approached by my friend Saad Sheikh, who is a Film and Television major at NCA, to act in his final feature film project; he had been sitting on the idea for the longest time and was very excited to give life to it. He wanted me to play one of the three main characters, Ammara Kahloon, a tortured widow who is contacted by her old college friends Zareen and Ayla, all of whom are dealing with the demons of their past and desperately looking for a window to escape their miserable lives, hence they decide to reunite their band from college and start performing again to which Ammara is initially very hesitant. What if her family finds out? What would her in-laws think? How could she free herself of all the shackles and dare to live a life so different and challenging, and all alone? Until one of the girls comes up with an idea to perform behind a burqa, which would free them from their bounds and they would be able to perform without the fear of discovery. After much deliberation Ammara decides to turn her life around and agrees to start practising again. They begin to play at small venues and are eventually head hunted by a record label at a local gig which skyrockets them to fast fame and earns them much appreciation and speculation as the mysterious, veiled rockstars. Soon enough as they begin to achieve more fame and strength as a group, they manage to break away from their suffocating lives and find the courage to shed the veils on stage and bravely face the audience and the world. And that was the idea behind the film, to show the veil as a tool of power and perseverance, rather than confinement and isolation.
After the release of the film, many people told me about an actual, similar group of Muslim musicians who perform on stage in the burqa, and I felt very fascinated by the idea of how art travels across boundaries and universalises a single idea in so many different ways. And with the recent discovery of Giselle Marie, the Brazilian veiled guitarist, my heart goes out to her and I have massive respect for her brave choice to adopt a lifestyle and a career many people would deem troublesome, and most would deem inappropriate for a woman to get into, let alone a Muslim woman who wears a veil.
There has been much deliberation and negative reaction towards Giselle from the Muslim nation that has once again busted out the pitchforks and the torches to condemn this act of disgrace towards Islam. How about we hold up a second and realise that everything a Muslim person does is not a direct relationship to his or her faith. Giselle Marie is a professional guitarist, who plays in a heavy-metal band, she chooses to do so without shedding her veil which gives her the comfort of not being ogled at yet playing her heart out. There has always been a debate about how the veil is a sign of oppression but here we have a woman breaking all boundaries of oppression and conventionality to surpass the limit of human endeavour, as thought to be appropriate by society for a woman of this particular religion.
While playing the character of Ammara I realised exactly how boundless the veil actually is, contrary to popular belief. When Saad and I talked about the implications of the burqa in a Pakistani film and how it would affect the audiences if it were to be released commercially, we wanted to project a healthy image of the burqa and not show it as a signifier of extremism, rather a tool for free expression, and what better way to do that than to have a lonely, broken widow embrace the burqa and play guitar in a band and have people actually appreciate her talent rather than condemn her. That was the goal of the characterisation, to use the veil to solidify rather than diminish the personality of whoever adorns it.
When we started to shoot for the film “Teen Tara”, it dawned on me that no matter what the veil represents in the religious sense, it is, in its own special way, a very liberating attire — like a membrane of sorts that protects from all glares and gives a sense of control and freedom to the one who wears it. While it might seem cowardly to hide behind a veil to perform, it speaks of so much more. Once I wore the burqa I did not care how I looked, what people thought of me, by eliminating my physical identity to the bare minimum form, I had opened many other doors for my sense of expression. As an art student it intrigued me to see the possibilities of this one attire as to how endless they were, and apparently to my fellow students. The same red burqa I wore soon began to show up in different works of art including miniatures, prints, photography and paintings. I was very glad to see the use of the veil in such a dynamic and interesting way without the assumption of it being a tool of oppression. It is indeed a very surreal experience to feel so invincible in something that is said to be restrictive.
As Ammara Kahloon, I channelled through the pain I felt personally into the burqa-clad guitarist who performed her heart out on stage, even if it was all just an act. Every time I was behind that burqa, I felt a surge of energy and confidence inside me and I felt like I could do anything, like a superhero behind a mask. In this society it is hard enough for women to speak their minds, act freely and share their opinions, on top of that they have become an easy target for oppression and abuse. What Giselle is doing is breaking these bounds in a society where the veil only means a woman is isolated from every great experience and is supposed to respect the veil and be subdued. Instead she is showing us that a woman can be an inspiring figure without using her sexuality as a tool for success and reinforcing the idea that what you wear does not define you.
Although I do not sport burqa myself, I have massive respect for women who can manage to do such amazing things while wearing it on a daily basis, and despite the fact that it was a role I played for a film, living the fictional life of Ammara Kahloon was one of the most challenging things I did. I can only imagine what it must be like to be Giselle, to face the opposition of the majority of her community, struggle to keep her dream alive and on the other hand be able to win the hearts of many who love her on stage and admire her courage. I cannot imagine a more enthralling life than that.
