“I was wrong. Secular democracy only way forward.”
Our Gulag Correspondent: Noted Pakistani rightist ideologue Zaid Hamid shocked many when he took an about-turn and applied for membership to the Awami National Party (ANP).
Speaking from his jail cell in Jeddah, the former Afghan jehad veteran said that after much introspection he reached the conclusion recently, after only the third that lash he received out of the twelve hundred a Saudi court decreed. “Perhaps the sort of freedom of speech that a democracy gives you and the right to a fair trial, or trial to begin with, is what sets apart truly civilised societies from the brutish hordes that our species once were. Dictatorships, in all their many forms, aren’t all that they’re cracked up to be.”
The charismatic speaker, with a considerable following in Pakistan, was speaking to reporters in a break between being lashed on his back and gluteus maximus.
“Furthermore, since there are many sects in Islam and points of agreement are fewer than I had been led to believe. Perhaps the way out of a conflict where all parties are quoting irrefutable scripture is for there to be no role of religion in running the country.”
“To that end, I hereby join the ANP, historically Pakistan’s most secular political party.”
When pointed out that his last public correspondence with party chief Asfandyar Wali was
“We will hang you, bury your party & then build Kalabagh Dam & drown your ideology in it, InshAllah,” Hamid started sobbing and begging for forgiveness.
“I urge the party leadership to consider my case. I even have a red hat to begin with,” said a visibly disturbed Hamid, who then broke into party anthem “Sada rahi hai..” written by late NAP/ANP leader Habib Jalib.