Karachi didn’t quite feel shut down

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    Our Dharna Correspondent

    Karachi: Despite the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf’s (PTI) revolution embracing the city, Karachi didn’t quite feel shut down, it has emerged. The city, so used to being shut down that it was concerned that PTI’s shutdown might have seemed like just another day in Karachi, was in for a surprise.

    “I thought there would be tension, suspense and I would genuinely fear for my life,” Haider, 31, a resident of Malir told Khabaristan Today. “But it wasn’t the case. In fact I knew that no one’s going to do anything because PTI would cash in on that,” he added.

    “It was a pleasant day, and I thought PTI’s adorable revolution added to the overall aura of the wonderful day,” said Sehrish, 21, student of Karachi University said while talking to Khabaristan Today. “But nothing like what we’re used to seeing, of course. I got a day off so I am happy,” she added.

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    “Bhai’s shutdown is by far more intense,” said Abid, 68, a local shopkeeper while talking to Khabaristan Today. “This felt like a mini-picnic. It’s the first shutdown that I have seen with music and dancing going on.”

    “And trust me I have seen my fair share.”

    Mutahhida Qaumi Movement (MQM) chief Altaf Bhai however said that PTI Chairman Imran Khan’s effort was commendable.

    “He spoke for nearly ten minutes,” Bhai said while talking to Khabaristan Today via Skype. “That’s ten more than most politicians manage to say in my city,” he added.

    “And of course it would be idiotic to compare his shutdowns with mine. But it wasn’t too bad considering that it was the kid’s very first attempt,” Bhai claimed.

    “He couldn’t avoid rookie mistakes though. But that’s understandable.”

     

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    Stubborn Malala won’t leave her evil quest for girls’ education

    Our Education Correspondent

    Oslo: Despite fulfilling her dreams of defaming Islam, Pakistan and the Taliban, 17-year-old education activist Malala Yousafzai has vowed to stick to her evil goals of educating girls, Khabaristan Today has learnt. Even though Malala has won the Nobel Peace Prize, which has capped off her plans to malign Pakistan rather comprehensively, the teenager might still stick to her malicious plans of education and women empowerment.

    “You have won millions of dollars, the Nobel Prize and all the acclaim of the world for working against Pakistan, now just go home, kid,” said Saba, 26, a housewife while talking to Khabaristan Today.

    “Her purpose is fulfilled, why does she have to continue to tread on the evil path?” she asked.

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    Dubbing Malala one of the greatest young actors in modern times, Hamza, 31, a struggling actor said that the Nobel Peace Prize winner is so good and incredibly dedicated that she just won’t stop her act.

    “It’s been over two years now,” Hamza said. “To play the same role, every day, every week, every single moment of your life, takes some perseverance,” he added.

    “I mean she might be a spy, an agent who has spread bile against Pakistan, but that girl is one hell of an actor.”

    Reports suggest that Malala also wants to help Pakistan by becoming the prime minister one day. This move has prompted PTI Chairman Imran Khan to question the Nobel elections. Khan has also promised to shut down Stockholm, party sources have confirmed.

     

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    Afridi out of annual quota of sensible performances ahead of the World Cup

    Our Cricket Correspondent

    Dubai: Following his match winning performance in the first ODI against New Zealand, flamboyant all-rounder Shahid Afridi has run out of his annual quota of sensible performances, it has emerged. Afridi, who is granted a quota of one rational batting performance every fiscal year, has run out of sensibility ahead of the World Cup, leaving experts and fans bemused.

    “He should have saved it for the World Cup,” said former captain Ramiz Raja while talking to Khabaristan Today. “The first ODI of a bilateral series, that too against New Zealand – it wasn’t the wisest of choices,” he added.

    “But what else do you expect from him?”

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    Former middle-order mainstay and captain of the team, Muhammad Yousaf has criticised Misbahul Haq for not monitoring Afridi’s quota.

    “It’s Misbah’s fault. He should have stopped Afridi when he was about to run out of his quota,” Yousaf said.

    “This is an unforgivable mistake and Afridi should immediately be made the captain of the ODI side after this massive blunder by Misbah.”