Our Special Correspondent
Islamabad: Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf (PTI) Chairman Imran Khan has changed his Facebook status from ‘In a relationship’ to ‘Single’ after Pakistan Awami Tehreek (PAT) Chief Tahirul Qadri decided to discontinue his dharna owing to what the party dubbed was ‘an overwhelming political success’.
According to reports, like any true Facebook user, the PTI chairman’s relationship status changed virtually seconds after televisions broke the news about Qadri calling off his dharna against the government. Even though, conflicting reports suggest that there might be a chance that the PAT chairman initially messaged Khan personally to inform him about his decision, leading to what seemed to the world as an almost simultaneous change in the Facebook status.
Sources privy to the social media accounts of both the anti-government leaders have told Khabaristan Today that Khan also tried to block Qadri from his Facebook account, but failed to do so, because the PAT chief had already blocked him. Qadri edged out Khan in unfollowing him on Twitter as well. Reports suggest that Khan is desperately trying to get an upper-hand in social media breaking up gestures, but he has run out of social media platforms.
It is pertinent to mention here that Tahirul Qadri doesn’t have an account on Pinterest, and the mandatory Google Plus account is inactive as well. What is surprising though is that an egocentric, narcissistic man like the PAT chief doesn’t have an account on Instagram. This is particularly shocking because senior party members have quite often revealed Qadri’s appreciation of his own beauty.
After realising that the PAT chairman has beaten him on social media, Imran Khan has decided to take to the print, TV and digital media to vent his frustrations following the most high profile political break up in recent history.
Khan has obviously contacted the recently banned Mubashir Luqman, who has been getting Bollywood offers of late. Luqman will air Khan’s version of the breakup on his Facebook page, which has around the same audience as his show Khara Sach.
Leading bloggers have decided to blog about the breakup as well, and Khan’s version would soon take over the digital world as the Khara Sach. Tahirul Qadri, however, according to sources privy to his espionage trip to Canada, “couldn’t care less”.
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MQM, PPP fight over who’s more secular
Our Religion Correspondent
Karachi: Pakistan top two secular political parties, Muttahida Qaumi Movement (MQM) and Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) – with due apologies to Awami National Party (ANP) – have been in the middle of a politico-religious slugfest of late. Both parties that are quite often at loggerheads, owing to their territorial interests, are now battling it out to decide which of the two is more secular.
In an official debating contest held at Karachi University, PPP Co-Chairman Bilawal Bhutto Zardari presented his side’s claim to being more secular. Bilawal pointed out that it was secular PPP that had excommunicated the Ahmadis, banned alcohol and closed bars. He highlighted that it was secular PPP that first saw the imaginary Jewish and Hindu nuclear bombs, adding that it was his party that visualised a Pan-Islamic world that epitomises secularity in every sense of the word.
The PPP Co-Chairman also stated that his party was instrumental in the creation of Afghan secularism in the shape of Taliban that are spreading militant secularism in the north-west of Pakistan. For further proof Bilawal presented his tweets, where he has promised to take back Kashmir from India 5,108 times in the past month.
The MQM team, represented by a screen that was used to display Altaf Bhai’s speech from London, simply reiterated their allegations of blasphemy against PPP for disrespecting the word Mohajir. Bhai’s 12-second speech was declared the winner by a panel of 27 judges, after being told that not declaring a blasphemy allegation to be victorious is blasphemous as well.
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Michael Clarke requests PCB to take Younus Khan out of repeat mode
Our Cricket Correspondent
Abu Dhabi: Australian captain Michael Clarke has requested the Pakistan Cricket Board to take veteran batsman Younus Khan out of repeat mode and put him on ‘play’ mode or ideally ‘rewind’ mode. According to reports, Clarke has requested PCB Chairman Shaharyar Khan to take notice of the Pakistani batting error that affected Pakistan Captain Misbah-ul-Haq, Azhar Ali and Ahmad Shahzad as well.
Sources privy to the Pakistan dressing room have suggested that a phone call between Younus Khan and the PCB chairman has taken place, where the batsman was threatened with disciplinary action for his hattrick of centuries.
Younus, however, has vowed to keep calm and carry on, leaving the PCB with no option to leave the ‘mode’ on and select him for next year’s ODI World Cup in Australia as well. The cricket team is hoping that the playing mode wasn’t just applicable to the Test version of the stereo.