The epidemic of unrequited love

A plea from broken hearts

Many people remain silent on this issue simply because it is considered a taboo in our society to even talk about such issues. Religious conservatism coupled with cultural narrow-mindedness has always prevented us from addressing the epidemic of unrequited love amongst the youth of Pakistan. Many young men and women in the colleges and universities of Pakistan develop feelings for each other, but are unable to convey them to their parents simply because they know they are going to be turned down. The parents tell their boy to stand up on his own feet first and have a reasonable job before he even thinks about having a wife. And the parents tell their girl to straighten up and focus on her studies because they are spending a lot on her education. In the end, the boy and the girl get married to different people, but the scars of their past keep haunting them forever and they are never able to find peace.

The infusion of Bollywood in our lives along with its lustful songs has also been largely responsible for the emotional devastation of many

It is also true that many boys confuse lust with love, and many girls forget that their beloved boyfriends are not fit to be the future fathers of their children. The immense lack of education in such matters followed by a total disconnect with religion has led the nation’s youth to this state. The elders do nothing but to shovel religious advice down the throats of their children, bash them and even beat if they even talk about such an issue. All they need to do is to just make their youth sit down, just at least listen to them and then give whatever religious advice they want to give.

The infusion of Bollywood in our lives along with its lustful songs has also been largely responsible for the emotional devastation of many. Many girls and boys become friends in their university life, and while the boy starts seeing the girl as her future wife, the girl thinks of him as nothing more but a friend. After completing her education, the girl goes on to marry someone else while the boy is left distraught. He doesn’t eat, drink, nor sleep. He ultimately commits suicide because he just can’t stop thinking about the girl and can’t bear to see her with another man. That, folks, is the epidemic of unrequited love – love in which A loves B, but B doesn’t love A back. We are losing an entire generation of ‘physically’ healthy men and women to this epidemic, which causes them to become emotionally handicapped. While some pseudo-religious people would like to pose co-education as the cause of this malice, the fact is that this plague is even quite visible in women-only or men-only universities because men and women find a way to interact with each other in their free time, even outside their universities. Because they have mobile phones and cars, just so you know.

Young men and women should be allowed to get married early. If they are old enough to desire each other, they are also old enough to get married too

Young men and women should be allowed to get married early. If they are old enough to desire each other, they are also old enough to get married too. Young men especially should start working from the first year of their university life and have some kind of job that allows them to learn what it means to take on responsibility. On the other hand, young women should not think of marriage as an impediment to their education, but rather as a support system. This obviously means that the woman’s in-laws should understand that she is still in the process of completing her studies and should not place the burden of too many household duties on her. While this may be an ideal scenario, it is not impossible to achieve. The woman needs to take the stand for herself; she is getting married to the man, not to the household.