Javed Hashmi told he was fired, can’t resign


    Our Staff Reporter – Islamabad: Former Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf (PTI) President Javed Hashmi, has been categorically told by the party that he cannot resign from his post, Khabaristan Today has learnt. The reason cited by the party’s senior leadership is the fact that Hashmi had been ‘thrown out’ by PTI Chairman Imran Khan, and that a person who has already been fired, cannot resign.

    “Hashmi has been reminded time and again that he cannot resign from PTI, because he was fired after going behind our backs,” PTI leader Shireen Mazari told Khabaristan Today. “But he has this annoying habit of wanting to resign over and over again,” she added.

    “Last month he said he was resigning from PML-N. A couple of months before that he said he was quitting high school,” Mazari told this scribe.

    PTI Vice Chairman Shah Mehmood Qureshi claimed that in addition to his former colleague’s habitual tendencies to resign, leave and abandon, hatred also plays a part in his persistent quest to leave the party that he’s no longer a part of.

    Javed Hashmi

    “He hates us, every single one of us. This is why he’ll continue to resign from the party, long after the party ceases to exist,” Qureshi told Khabaristan Today.

    “Or at least he gets bored, and finds something new to resign from,” he added.

    Hashmi talking exclusively to Khabaristan Today said that he was still the PTI president and could resign any number of times he wanted.

    “It is my constitutional right to resign from my post as the party president as many times as I want,” he claimed, “I have a half a century’s worth of resignations, I know my right,” he added.

    Sources have told this scribe that Hashmi has been looking for a new job ever since he resigned, or was fired, as the PTI president. There are reports that the former PTI and Pakistan Muslim League – Nawaz (PML-N) leader’s CV is being criticised for showcasing ‘an inconsistency in employment and a knack of leaving his post and responsibilities in a hurry’.

    According to latest reports Hashmi has accused everyone not hiring him of being undemocratic and technocratic.




    Student writes ‘Go Nawaz Go’ as answer to all University quiz questions; tops exam

    Our Education Correspondent – Lahore: Adnan, 21, a third year student at University of Engineering and Technology’s (UET) Civil Engineering department, has topped the fifth semester Steel Structures mid-semester quiz after writing ‘Go Nawaz Go’ as the answer to all quiz questions. Sources privy to the Civil Engineering department have revealed that Adnan is the favourite to top the semester and get the highest grade at least in Steel Structures.

    According to reports the Steel Structure professor, one Mr Asghar, is an ardent Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf supporter and believes that nothing is more important than dethroning the monarchy of Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif.


    “What is the point of studying structural analysis, when the foundation of the country is corrupted,” Asghar told this scribe. “All these formulae, equations and mathematical analyses are pointless as long as Nawaz Sharif is in power,” the professor added.

    The professor has encouraged all civil engineering students to learn from Adnan if they want to become experts in their fields.

    “I think everyone but Adnan would rather design (Punjab Chief Minister) Shehbaz Sharif’s underpasses and overhead bridges, than design the structure of Naya Pakistan,” Asghar said. “I am proud of Adnan. He has all the hallmarks of an honest and competent engineer,” the Steel Structure professor added.

    According to reports, the 5th semester students have abandoned their Street Structure curricula and are busy designing the downfall of Nawaz Sharif on Facebook, with the mid-term exams just a few weeks away.




    Bilawal to sing ‘Mersun Mersun’ in new season of Coke Studio

    Our Music Correspondent – Lahore: Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) Co-chairman Bilawal Benazir Zulfikar Asif Ali Zardari Bhutto (short Bilawal Bhutto) has been signed by Coke Studio to sing Mersun Mersun in one of its episodes in the new season. The Coke Studio organisers were impressed by Bilawal’s vocal and musical prowess during the PPP’s meeting in Multan.

    The organisers believe that the PPP chairman brings forward an idea blend of symphonic death metal and noise pollution, which the Coke Studio audience craves.


    “Our audience wants something unique and different,” said an organiser while talking to this scribe off the record. “They want something that resembles music but isn’t quite that – just a rehashed nonsensical mix of classic and pop music or maybe an enforced amalgamation of noise,” she added.

    “We believe Bilawal is the ideal singer for our venture. He will do justice to Coke Studio’s long tradition of promoting the absurd and bizarre.”

    Reports suggest that Bilawal would be joined by dad, PPP Co-chairman, Asif Ali Zardari, senior leader Aitzaz Ahsan of the ‘dar ke dushman bhaag raha hai’ fame, and Khurshid Shah. The PPP band would be called, ‘BB hum sharminda hain’ sources privy to the party leadership have told Khabaristan Today.