Top 10 reasons why Afridi is the right choice as Pakistan’s captain

Lack of evangelism and responsible cricket among reasons why Lala deserves to be the skipper

Shahid Afridi has been appointed as the Pakistan T20 team’s captain till the next T20 World Cup. First things first, they really need to stop calling it a world cup, considering the fact that it happens like four times a week. Secondly, it is even more important to realise that PCB has summoned a masterstroke by appointing Afridi as the T20 captain.

The last T20 World Cup (excuse me) was a disaster and so getting things right was important this time round. Here are the top 10 reasons why Afridi is the right choice as Pakistan’s T20 captain.

10. It would allow Hafeez to focus on Lahore Lions

Lahore Lions have qualified for the main round of the Champions League T20, led by Pakistan’s former T20 captain Mohammed Hafeez. With Afridi taking care of Pakistan’s national team, Hafeez can focus on the Lions who are actually better on paper than the national team. It would also help Hafeez focus on actual cricket i.e., domestic T20 leagues which help players bag a lot more money than international cricket.

9. Ahmed Shehzad wouldn’t threaten other captains with hell fire

Shehzad might have been the obvious choice if Afridi hadn’t been selected. It would have been hard for us to witness the national captain trying to convert the opposition skipper during the coin toss. At least Afridi keeps his bigotry off the pitch.

8. Afridi wouldn’t have to pretend to be mature and all

Being the ODI captain means having to act maturely. T20 captain can just play his “natural game”, which is Pakistan cricket’s official euphemism for being a nut-head. It suits Afridi rather well.

7. We would all appreciate that Pakistan seriously needs to groom youngsters as captains

Let’s admit it, the move is going to end up being a disaster. That would basically rubberstamp what we’ve known for a decade now. That there aren’t any youngsters worthy of becoming captains, those who can be considered are either becoming cricketing evangelists or breaking traffic rules every other day.

6. Umar Akmal would be dropped if/when he doesn’t perform

Seeing Umar Akmal captain the side would be a spine-tingling sight, one that we should all collectively wish that we wouldn’t have to witness. And with him not being the captain, he would also be as droppable as he currently is.

5. Kamran Akmal and Shoaib Malik’s careers are over

No Umar Akmal means, no Kamran Akmal. No Kamran Akmal means, no Shoaib Malik. Thankfully that era is over. We’d still welcome Abdul Razzaq back though.

4. We would all appreciate Misbahul Haq even more

The already under-appreciated skipper would get some deserved appreciation when his biggest rival for the ODI captaincy is being seen making a fool of himself. He would then cement his place as the ODI skipper till next year’s ODI World Cup (actual World Cup). This would get on Muhammad Yousaf’s nerves – which in itself is reason enough to appoint Afridi as the T20 captain.

3. We wouldn’t expect our team to be one thing they absolutely hate to be – responsible

Irresponsible captain, irresponsible team, playing irresponsible cricket in a format that encourages irresponsible displays. Everything fits perfectly.

2. People would actually start watching cricket again

No one actually knew Pakistan played a series against Sri Lanka last month. Most of that is down to THE Kaptaan’s anti-Nawaz tantrums, but what we’ve been missing is the Lala factor that the current T20 kaptaan brings, which encourages Pakistanis to take interest in cricket. Imran Khan’s tantrums are set to continue, so this nation needs a distraction.

1. The whinefest/politics would be over

Afridi is one of the greatest politicians seen in the Pakistani dressing room – yes, even bigger than Imran Khan. Afridi could replace Khan as the PTI chief eventually. But as far as Pakistan cricket is concerned, Afridi’s constant sulking and whining would be over not that he’s the captain – albeit temporarily.

The writer’s greatest cricketing achievement is watching an entire match between UAE and Holland live inside a cricket stadium at the tender age of seven. All side effects of The Horizontal Column are the readers’ headache.