Our Special Correspondent
Islamabad: Taking inspiration from Scotland, Pakistan has decided to vote on independence as well, it has emerged. The fate of Prime Minister Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif would now be decided via a countrywide referendum. Scotland might have opted out of independence from the United Kingdom but Pakistan is expected to opt for independence from the Sharif dynasty.
Every person over the age of 18 would be eligible to vote. The question would be: “Do you want an end to the corrupt rule of the Sharif dynasty? Do you want independence, oye?” All voters would have two options: ‘Yes’ and ‘Go Nawaz Go.’
Pre-election surveys reveal that Nawaz Sharif must start packing his bag because the Pakistanis would be voting him out one way or the other.
“It’s a tricky situation for Nawaz, this referendum. So either people say yes to independence from him and to his rule, or they tell him to go. The prime minister is done either way,” said a survey organiser while talking to Khabaristan Today.
“But it has also put the ordinary man in a predicament. I mean obviously the entire country wants independence from the Sharifs, but what do they want more? Nawaz to resign or Nawaz to ‘Go’?” she continued.
Another organiser was surprised that Scotland opted for slavery in lieu of independence.
“Saying no to independence – who does that?” he questioned. “Why would any country opt for dependence and slavery over independence!” the organiser exclaimed.
“Pakistan definitely isn’t that stupid.”
It is pertinent to mention here that the referendum would be conducted in Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) Chairman Imran Khan’s dream and would be based on results on PTI’s Facebook page only. That all hypothetical surveys point to an overwhelming victory has given Khan the impetus to further his protest against the government and stay inside his container, intermittently coming out to enlighten the rest of the universe.
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Man tries to fit revolution into hectic schedule
Our Revolution Correspondent
Lahore: Yasir, 21, a student at Lahore University of Management Sciences (LUMS), is finding it hard to fit revolution into a hectic schedule that involves fifth semester classes, playing tennis, spending time with high school sweetheart and just chilling out, it has emerged. Yasir is trying to fit revolution into his daily plan but has continuously failed.
It is pertinent to mention here that the Lalak Jan Chowk protests provide all those people who aren’t revolutionary enough to join the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) and Pakistan Awami Tehreek (PAT) dharnas, to have a localised revolution in Defence Housing Authority (DHA). And with DHA hosting most of Lahore’s revolutionaries the location is convenient for Yasir as well, since it’s at a walking distance from his university and right opposite his house in T-block.
“It’s 7 pm every day. I have evening classes, and then I have to take my sweetheart out for coffee. Then of course there’s floodlight tennis with my buddies,” Yasir complained to himself. “As revolutionary as I am and as much as I want to change my country, I just can’t fit the revolution in my really hectic schedule,” he convinced himself.
Yasir also convinced himself that he was better off following his self-centric life goals. He realised that nothing was more important for Pakistan’s better future than the fact that he had a GPA over 3.3, a happy girlfriend and a shot at LUMS’s tennis team.
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NBA cheerleaders to model chants based on ‘Go Nawaz Go’
Our NBA Correspondent
Los Angeles: Cheerleaders from leading NBA franchises including Los Angeles Lakers, Cleveland Cavaliers and Miami Heat have decided to model their cheerleading chants on the ‘Go Nawaz Go’ slogans that they have recently heard from the ongoing sit-ins in Islamabad. Sources tell Khabaristan Today that the cheerleaders feel that ‘Go Nawaz Go’ has a really positive feel that would encourage their teams to go forward and score more points.
“It has the vibe,” said Samantha, one of the cheerleaders at Los Angeles Lakers. “Go Lakers Go! Go Kobe Go! You see what I mean?” she added.
“Now that we have LeBron James back, the chants would bring back the positivity in Cleveland,” said Monica, Cleveland Cavaliers’ cheerleader. “’Go LeBron Go’ would be an instant hit!” she added.
With everyone trying to copy the chant, NBA is concerned that every cheerleading team would be asking its leading players to ‘go’. This could create confusion on who is supposed to go and who is supposed to stay. NBA is worried that there might come a situation when the leader who is being asked to go, decides not to go, and that would create unwanted delays and confusion.
if u have a little courage and courtesy…. please ask before using someone's his Designs.
This "GO NAWAZ GO" thing was designed by me… U should have asked me before u published this. i hope i will get a answer.
[email protected] is my email address.
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