Ali Gul Pir & Mooroo’s “Itni Chikni” and The Idiot’s Guide to Misogyny

It’s sexist, stupid

Seldom is a piece of entertainment so inherently sexist and downright idiotic in its construction that it requires us to pull our collective hats together and gawk in unison. The “Itni Chikni” collaboration between Ali GP and Mooroo is so absolutely grand in its bigotry and chauvinism that it takes a person a few moments before they can actually strategically pull their jaw back from a perpetually hanging stand, and adjust the extent to which one’s eyes are wide in horror.

But it isn’t at all sexist. Mooroo himself took to Facebook to quell feminist concerns by telling women that they were overreacting. “It’s a shame when appreciating beautiful women is equated to hating them. #blindantagonism towards #freedomofexpression.” Yup, that’s exactly the kind of logic a cheapster on the road uses when he indulges himself in some wholesome eve-teasing fun. When he comments on her body or tries to touch her while she gapes in horror, he’s just appreciating the good stuff? No harm no foul? So what if the woman feels harassed, he was just admiring her beauty?

And just like that, with his enlightening status, Mooroo has helped us find out way to our first definition of the day: what is an MRA? An MRA or Male Rights Activist is typically someone that cannot stand the idea of a woman asking for equal rights. He is consumed with his mistreatment at the hands of women who would rather have a mind of their own and do things that they want to do, instead of conforming to his patriarchal standards and requirements. An MRA is super scared of feminists and often feels as though they are out to get him, much like Mooroo. Any mention of sexist or chauvinistic behaviour sends an MRA into a fury where he cannot remain composed and has to call women out on all those rights that he thinks they shouldn’t have to begin with. Like who told women they had the freedom of expression anyway? Mooroo is cute because it seems like he doesn’t even realise how well he mimics MRA narrative without even trying all that hard — maybe it’s a new fan-base he can tap into?

While we’re at it lets also explore another important word: patriarchy. A patriarchal system is one where men have existed in peace without having to worry about women, their needs and their wants. They can ask a woman of anything they like and she has to oblige. This can include cute little things like forcing yourself on your wife and acting out marital rape (but of course you can label it passion later and be done with it) or something as silly as expecting your mother/sister/wife/insert-female-relation-here, to get you a glass of water (because, you know, men don’t do things when female servants are around). When taken in the context of “Itni Chikni” it revolves around two boys who previously ignored yucky looking girls who weren’t good enough, to boogying it down with them once they were hot enough. There is no real question, it seems, of whether the women even care about this as they are expected to, and go along with the requirement of dancing it off.

This brings us to our next big word: misogyny. Misogyny is bias, prejudice and (systemic) discrimination against women. How does this relate to this fantastic video? When you have a video outlining the many reasons nobody would want women when they’re ugly and awkward there isn’t much left to the imagination. But of course as soon as they all grow up and turn hot the tables turn on these men and their libidos, because these women and their charms are no match for them.

Here’s a big word: objectification. Rather than reading an explanation one would do better to head over to the “Itni Chikni” video and give it a good watch. For those of you that still don’t get it: looking at women as though they are nothing more than objects. A geisha? Check. A goth? Check. A vixen? Check. All of them chickni and ready for a hard d*ck? Check and check, ladies and gentlemen. Ali Gul Pir and Mooroo are perhaps the most oblivious men in Pakistan right now. Despite being part of the media that is now actively talking against objectification, these two lads have outdone themselves in showing us how women are nothing more than sex objects. First they are not good enough for sex because of hair oil and boggers, and then they grow up into hot sexy women and voila: dance baby, dance. To further prove their point they go on to sing:

“Sofay pay larki,

Larki pay larka,

Larkay pay chaadar,

Chaadar main harkat,

Harkat pe harkat,

School mein to tha tera bura haal,

Naak ke choohay aur tel walay baal.

Congrats lads, with your sleek suits and those shades you are now emulating the worst possible form of a Kanye West reject. Not only that, you manage to reinforce the very worst part of our culture and society while you do it. We give you an A+ for being just like any other Pakistani.

The writer believes all misogynists should look themselves in the mirror and reconsider what they think about women. For advice and guidance on this, email at: [email protected]