Quotable quotes from the ongoing political crisis II

The top 10 quotes of the week, straight from the horse’s mouth, again

After the overwhelming, and imaginary, success of last week’s column we realised that the masses needed more accurate coverage of the ongoing political crisis in Islamabad. What they really need is quotes that are accurate and not made up – something that most of our media houses are busy doing for ratings.

We have again – for our readers and our country, not for any self-seeking motives – compiled the top 10 quotes of the week that will truly define what is going on in Islamabad right now. These statements comprehensively describe the situation and can be used as a guide by those who actually have a life and haven’t been staring at TV screens all day over the past week or so.

So, ladies and gentlemen, amidst drum rolls and rapturous applause, we once again present you the top ten quotes. You can thank us later.

Here are the top 10:

–          “I am the federal minister for railways and I can assure you that the government is on the right track,” – Railways Minister Saad Rafiq on the government-protestors standoff.

–          “Oh, well, I hadn’t baaghi-ed in a while. I never imagined trolling Imran would be this much fun,” – Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf President Javed Hashmi on his spat with Imran Khan.

–          “I want to be the prime minister of Pakistan. I think that bit is clear to many people, especially Aitzaz Ahsan. But thankfully Nawaz Sharif is oblivious of my plans. It considerably alters the odds in my favour” – Interior Minister Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan on his plan to convince Nawaz to take a ‘break’.

–          “Imran Khan told all party members that anyone who disagreed with him would be fired. And we all unanimously agreed with him. It was an overwhelmingly democratic decision,” Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf Central Information Secretary, Shireen Mazari on Imran Khan’s decision to fire Javed Hashmi.

–          “I admire my steadfastness and resilience. Anyone else in my position would have crumbled and handed in their resignation. But I am having none of it. I am not going anywhere,” President Mamnoon Hussain on being asked to resign by the protestors.

–          “It was a tough task. Damage control was the only option but it was still difficult to redeem the situation considering all the idiotic statements that Imran Khan had uttered on that damned container. But I think I did well,” – Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf Vice Chairman Shah Mehmood Qureshi, on his speech in the Parliament.

–          “The flood in Lahore is a conspiracy of undemocratic forces. We won’t succumb to the water pressure,” – Punjab Chief Minister Shahbaz Sharif on the torrential rainfall in Punjab.

–          “I want chocolates, toffees, colouring books, slides, bats, balls, etc. I want nothing more than a merry go round right now,” – Pakistan Awami Tehrik Chief Tahirul Qadri on the 23^rd day of his Inqilab March.

–          “It is our democratic right to barge inside any building that we want, roam on any avenue that we want, and if these buildings and roads happen to be sensitive, it’s not Prime Minister Imran Khan’s concern. We are going to free you from these false custodians of false democracy who won’t even allow you to walk on the road,” Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf Chairman Imran Khan addressing the joint PTI, PAT sit-in.

–          “All elections in the history of Pakistan have been rigged. No one has ever enquired into any rigging in the past. I don’t want to set a wrong precedent by listening to reasonable demands of the opposition,” Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif on the protestors’ demands.

The writer is a professional creative quote compiler. No horses were harmed in the compilation of these quotes. All side effects of reading The Horizontal Column are the readers’ headache.