Islamabad
Our Special Correspondent
Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) Chairman Imran Khan is a ‘hundred percent sure’ that he will become the country’s prime minister by 6pm on Thursday, August 14, Khabaristan Today has learnt. A party official, not wanting to speak on record, told Khabaristan Today that the party leader has also announced a party later on Thursday night for all the party members.
“It will be a party where the Taliban come and have a blast,” the party official said, putting emphasis on the word blast.
It is pertinent to mention here that the PTI has organised an ‘Azadi March’ on August 14 to ‘free’ the country from the authoritarian regime of the Sharifs, and establish the authoritarian regime of Imran. Making Imran the prime minister of Pakistan is a prerequisite for Pakistan’s freedom, according to party officials. It is believed that “millions” of Pakistanis are awaiting this massive change.
“This is Naya Pakistan, take 2109651,” the party official commented.
According to sources, Imran Khan has already prepared his victory speech after his announcement as Nawaz Sharif’s successor on Thursday. Khabaristan Today has also learnt that the PTI chief has a few tweets ready as well. Sources reveal that ‘drones, Taliban, Amreeka and dollars’ get regular mention in Khan’s ‘to thank’ list.
The PTI chief talking exclusively about the rumours of him becoming the prime minister on Thursday said, “I have no interest in becoming the prime minister, all I am interested in is the azadi of my fellow Pakistanis. It is just a coincidence that this azadi is impossible without Imran Khan being the prime minster.”
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Rishta aunties urged to make matches like Tahirul Qadri and Imran Khan
Islamabad/Lahore/Karachi
Our Matrimonial Correspondent
Rishta aunties all over Pakistan have been urged to make ideal matches like Tahirul Qadri and Imran Khan. From Islamabad to Lahore to Karachi streets in all the major cities in Pakistan were jam packed with anxious parents’ waiting to see their children being married as soon as possible. And it is every parent’s dream that their kid finds a match made in heaven. This is precisely why massive scale movements have been carried out all over Pakistan to urge the rishta aunties into making perfect matches “a la TUQ and IK”.
Shakeela Aunty, in the rishta making business for the past 40 years, talking exclusively to Khabaristan Today, said, “Parents are now coming to us with pictures of Tahirul Qadri and Imran Khan saying that’s the kind of match I want for my daughter… this is the sort of marriage I want for my son.”
“And while I respect their sentiment and overwhelming desire, what these parents refuse to understand is that matches like Qadri and Khan are made in heaven. It is virtually impossible to find similar matches for anyone else.”
Shakeela Aunty went on to explain why the Qadri and Khan match was as perfect as everyone was claiming it to be.
“Theirs is the ideal marriage, because despite their minor disagreements their goals in life are the same. In fact if they had no disagreements at all, and agreed on everything that would have been a disastrous marriage,” she said.
“Just look at all the hue and cry over the Azadi march. Despite their ostensible disaccords, the end goal is the same for both Imran Khan and Tahirul Qadri: being a pain in the backside of Nawaz Sharif. And when the spouses work in tandem – spouses as perfect as Qadri and Khan, if I may add – they are sure to achieve what they want,” she added.
It is expected that rishta aunties all over the country would come out in numbers, in response to the parents coming out in numbers, clearly telling them that it is impossible to find matches like Qadri and Khan, and that parents should be more realistic.
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PM decides to observe ‘Parachinar Day’ on August 17
Islamabad
Our Staff Reporter
Pakistan Prime Minister Dr Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif has decided to observe ‘Parachinar Day’ on August 17, following a crucial meeting with Jamaat-e-Islami (JI) chief Sirajul Haq. The meeting was held amidst deteriorating political situation in the country and has turned out be extremely crucial. During the meeting the prime minister of Pakistan praised the JI chief not going all inqilabi on him like PTI Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) and Pakistan Awami Tehreek (PAT).
Nawaz extolled the stance of JI chief Sirajul Haq, whose politico-religious party announced protests all over the country on August 17, to show solidarity with the people of Parachinar that are facing brutal attacks from the Taliban, Lashkar-e-Jhangvi and Sipah-e-Sahaba Pakistan, whose political wing happens to be Pakistan Muslim League Nawaz’s (PML-N) ally, Ahl-e-Sunnat Wal Jamaat (ASWJ).
The prime minister said that the ongoing Shia genocide in Pakistan and the government’s inability to counter the situation had become a major concern and that earmarking a day to support the Shia brothers and sisters had become the need of the hour. The prime minister feared that the international community might start boycotting Pakistani products owing to the Shia genocide and the state sponsored volatility in Balochistan.
The letter H in the name of this newspaper is superfluous and unnecessary.
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