A list of the top 10 candidates to replace Najam Sethi as the Pakistan Cricket Board chairman
After the cricket gods finally intervened on the bizarre circus and decided that enough is enough and it’s time for Najam Sethi to not be the chairman of the Pakistan Cricket Board on a relatively more permanent basis, the PCB’s musical chairs has left a vacant seat. Said seat has been vacated and reoccupied at least a 214251085 times over the past year. But now we have the moral, ethical and cricketing responsibility to name Sethi’s successor as the next PCB chairman.
There are quite a few solid contenders but we believe that the following would make good PCB chiefs, given the opportunity. Here are our top 10 contenders:
10. Imran Khan
Let’s face it, the man knows more about cricket than he does about politics, or the universe in general. Having a Taliban apologist in the PCB would mean that the militants might be encouraged to bring their explosiveness to the cricketing realm instead of blowing up people. However, the biggest winner would be common sense, with Khan not torturing us with his political point scoring rhetoric.
9. Kamran Khan
As I write this Kamran Khan has just left Geo News. Even though the word is that he has joined another channel, he is still at a stage in his career where he must be exploring his career options. In any case, if Mr Sethi can be an anchor-cum-journalist-cum-PCB chairman, why can’t Kamran Khan follow suit? It would be intriguing to see the PCB chairman’s press conferences thenceforth.
8. Ping Pong ball
A leading news source reported a couple of weeks ago that a ping pong ball was being made the PCB chairman. One thought that would be a good move considering the yo-yoing need of the job.
7. Ben Affleck
If he can pull off Batman, being PCB chairman wouldn’t be that big a deal. No one is a bigger superhero than Pakistan Cricket Board’s chairman.
6. Traffic Warden
Just to tame Umar Akmal. The chairman would also keep an eye on ‘senior’ cricketers like Shahid Afridi, and discipline them. Driving has always been a problem of Pakistani top order batsmen anyway.
5. Shoaib Akhtar
The man has just got married and might be looking to explore career options that do not involve just sitting and bashing everyone. The Rawalpindi Express would be bold in his decision making and would not bow down to any kind of pressures. However, Shoaib might actually prefer a more stable job.
4. Shoaib Malik
Quite possibly the only person who would select Shoaib Malik in the national cricket team ever gain. That would make Sania Mirza the First Lady of Pakistan cricket. And Malik would be the First Gentleman of Indian tennis.
3. Veena Malik
There is a dire need to inject glamour and flair into Pakistan cricket that has been accused of being dull and boring ever since Misbahul Haq has taken over the reins. Considering Veena’s popularity in India, this appointment will help the bilateral cricketing ties between India and Pakistan.
2. Nawaz Sharif
He has been doing nothing of late that is expected from his current job position. Nawaz Sharif’s cricketing excellence and knowhow can be witnessed through his Cricinfo page. This would help him contribute more to Pakistan than he is right now.
1. Misbahul Haq
He rescued the cricket team from the turmoil of the spot fixing saga in 2010. He can save the cricket board from the turmoil of pointless musical chairs. He is the man for all crises.
The writer is a professional top-10 list maker and can’t tell the difference between cricket and baseball. All side effects of reading The Horizontal Column are the readers’ headache.