You won’t believe what makes the list
In just a couple of days the Mubarak month of Ramazan Kareem will become a part of our memory. We shall refer to this time as the good old days and remember how we fought valiantly against the summer heat and horrific pangs of hunger, only to rise to the challenge and take the iftari table by storm. Let’s have a list of the top things we’ll miss this Ramazan.
1. The kachoris
Before some of you start bantering about the enigma that is the pakora, hear me out. While it may not be able to match the supple tenderness and love that a samosa is made of, a kachori is one specialty that is specific to Ramazan. When else are you going to be able to bite into a freshly cooked piece of heaven? Where do you even find kachoris during non-Ramazan times? One shudders at the very thought itself. A pakora can be had in the rain, with some tea, at a party or a mehndi. A pakora knows no seasons, it takes a backseat to no weather problems — but a kachori blooms only for this one small month!
2. Shorter work days
Who doesn’t love a shorter work day? And this isn’t the only privilege one gets during Ramazan. You can show up to work super late, and leave early citing fatigue and frailty, and not many can dare question your intentions. This is one month that really helps people kick back and relax. The bosses don’t ask irritating questions about productivity and people generally steer clear as soon as you give them the “mein rozay se hun, mujhe tang na karo” look. Remember this time folks, it’ll take one full year before we get to do this all again.
This one beautiful month stirs up the most pious parts of a person’s personality. Whether or not they continue on with that personality after Ramazan is gone is their personal matter and should be left to them entirely — but while Ramazan is underway the rules are different.
3. The D and Z debate
What better way to prove one’s dedication to the divine then to settle scores with different languages. This opportunity comes to us courtesy of this blessed month as well. Many people are oft left wondering why Ramazan must be spelled with a D. One side argues that the D makes Pakistanis go all Arabic, while the other argues that they don’t really care about the D. Now if your brain is swirling with all kinds of disgusting innuendos, let me please remind you that there’s still some time left before Ramazan is over so keep it classy folks. At the end of the day the person who makes the most points wins a pakora – and who doesn’t love that?
4. Superior beings
Do you want to instantaneously become more intelligent and amazing than almost every single person around you? Well all you need to do is fast (or pretend that you’re fasting). Ramazan will be missed because it instantly turned almost every single person into Mother Teresa. You could glare at women, children and old people as they ate their food and they would stand ashamed in the wake of your fast. This one beautiful month stirs up the most pious parts of a person’s personality. Whether or not they continue on with that personality after Ramazan is gone is their personal matter and should be left to them entirely — but while Ramazan is underway the rules are different. Yes, while Ramazan is underway they can advise, admonish and annoy anyone they want.
5. Redemption Incorporated
Each year Ramazan presents a brilliant opportunity for people to save themselves from the devil. It’s the one month when there’s no question of a devil forcing people to do whatever he pleases, so whatever horrible things they end up doing in Ramazan are actually all you. Think of the month as a detox where you get to slice the evil out of your system piece by piece. Just like Noora has headed for umrah while the country burns, you can do something absolutely remarkable for your soul too. However, if you’ve spent all these days doing nothing in this blessed month, don’t fret. This is a repeat offer and will be available sometime next year to anyone who chooses to avail it.
Many people are oft left wondering why Ramazan must be spelled with a D. One side argues that the D makes Pakistanis go all Arabic, while the other argues that they don’t really care about the D.
At the end of the day the only thing that won’t be missed once Ramazan is over is the money that was being charged for iftar at most cafes and restaurants. A simple lunch doesn’t cost the amount of money that most people have had to spend just trying to make sure that they break their fast in a manner that is religion friendly.
The writer is obsessed with pakoras and samosas and so much more. To discuss other iftari oriented food you can email at: fraudian.slip@yahoo.com.