Many have touted it a ‘business class revolution’, but there are scores of reasons why it was a success
Call it a ‘Business Class Revolution’, ‘Bulletproof Revolution’, or ‘Container Revolution’, call it what you want, but Tahirul Qadri’s revolution has been a blockbuster success. While there are multitudinous reasons why the revolution was a revolutionary success, here are only a microscopic fraction of them that would make Qadri’s critics eat their words.
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting top nine reasons why TuQ’s revolution was a success.
1. It was called a revolution
Ever since the Arab Spring Pakistan has been hankering after a Pakistani Spring – ignoring the minor detail that the Arab version was supposed to herald democracy, while Pakistan already has had precisely that. This is precisely why political ‘behemoths’ like Imran Khan and Tahirul Qadri get to pretend to be the reincarnations of Che Guevara.
2. It supported the army
A revolution supporting the status quo? That’s a shoo-in for success. Shooting with the gun on the shoulder of the military is always a good idea in Pakistan. So what if the army did not provide the helicopter that Che Qadri was asking for?
3. It was against Nawaz Sharif
Any revolutions against Nawaz Sharif are generally a good idea and hence there is more of a chance of them being successful. Case in point: Musharraf’s revolution of October 1999. If anyone had to pick two evils, and one of them was the prime minister of Pakistan, the chance of the other one being preferred are pretty darn good. Case in point: Imran Khan.
4. Emirates Airlines put a life time ban on TuQ
There had to be something old school about Tahirul Qadri’s revolution. So, being banned from the capitalistic business class section of one of the leading airlines’ in the world works pretty nicely. Of course TuQ couldn’t have gone to jail or even think about getting in line of the fire that proved fatal for his supporters. Getting banned from an airline is easy and is as about as “anti-establishment” as Qadri can get.
5. Imran Khan supported it
Imran Khan is the official poster boy of revolutions in Pakistan and so his support provides credence to the claim of TuQ’s revolution being a success. The two joining hand, dissolving provincial assemblies, leading to a military coup… now that would be a one of a kind revolution.
6. It diverted attention away from the IDPs
Now this worked in everyone’s favour: the government, army, media, everyone. Focusing on IDPs would have revealed the ugly side of the haphazard Zarb-e-Azb, with provincial governments bizarrely blocking entrance of IDPs. Enter TuQ and all attention was on the revolution, with the plight of the IDPs conveniently ignored.
7. None of the revolutionary’s demands was met
Just like last year’s revolution in Islamabad, none of TuQ’s demands was met. This makes it a uniquely successful revolution because Tahirul Qadri’s closing in on the Guinness World Record for the most demands ignored in political history. It is believed that the record is currently held by Georges Clemenceau.
8. No one was taken hostage/no bullets fired at the plane
Pakistani airports have become a sensitive place of late, and just the fact that this revolution did not have any share of violence makes it a success.
9. Tahirul Qadri and Sunny Leone was used in the same sentence
Apparently Canada has not been fair in its exports to the Indian subcontinent. Also, what better way to distract oneself away from the circus?
The writer is TuQ’s second biggest fan in South Asia. All after effects of reading The Horizontal Column are the readers’ own headache.
