Someone who does not believe in the fundamental ideas of terrorism but has a nostalgic affiliation with terrorist activities
I am a cultural terrorist. I owe it to people like Richard Dawkins for helping me fulfill the most important task known to mankind: defining oneself. In fact it is not just Dawkins, but everyone who refers to themselves as a “cultural” or “liberal” follower of any religion, while not adhering to the fundamentals of the religion is an inspiration for me.
Richard Dawkins, who has made an illustrious career out of trying to prove that there is no god, and is the strongest advocate of atheism, refers to himself as a cultural Christian. The reason cited for this is a nostalgic affiliation with the ‘softer’ side of the religion, so to speak. You know singing jingles, exchanging Christmas gifts and all of that.
Now let us use the Dawkins model to define who a cultural terrorist is. This for all practical purposes is a narcissistic activity that involves me trying to define myself.
A cultural terrorist is someone who does not believe in the fundamental ideas of terrorism but has a nostalgic affiliation with terrorist activities. Growing up amid suicide bombings, target killings, riots, massacres, genocide, I shall henceforth dub myself a cultural terrorist. In fact anyone who has had the (mis)fortune of growing up in Pakistan over the past decade or so, can safely dub themselves a cultural terrorist.
The sound of bombs and gunshots, regular breaking news of terrorist activities and living under constant fear, I have an emotional attachment with all of this. I might be fundamentally against the fundamentals of terrorism, but I cannot disassociate myself from the nostalgia that I experience with all things related to terrorism. It is this nostalgia that forces me to continue calling myself a terrorist, despite doing nothing that terrorism dictates.
Let us make no mistake here, I am absolutely against terrorism. But there are my friends who are liberal terrorists who suggest that there is a need to understand that all terrorists are not fundamentalists. They say there are moderate terrorists, liberal terrorists and terrorists who believe in metaphorical interpretations of terrorism as well. They suggest that for some, terrorism is just like a stroll in the nearby park, where you interact with flowers, birds and cherish the natural beauty around you. Terrorism actually is all about cherishing nature and learning peaceful coexistence from the creatures around us, they say.
According to them it is groups like Boko Haram and the Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) that have given terrorism a bad name, through their literal interpretation of terrorism. And they say that terrorismphobes constantly calling the TTP and Boko Haram “true” terrorists and referring to liberal terrorists like my friends as being misguided, actually help these groups’ cause. The metaphorical interpreters of terrorism believe that they are the true terrorists.
The liberal terrorists want us to take a look at things from a more humanistic point of view. The questions they regularly flaunt are: can a peaceful and humanitarian ideology like terrorism result in killings? Can the most perfect message ever sent to mankind result in any suffering for human beings? And so it should not take rocket science to figure out that the actual proponents of religion are the park wanderers, nature lovers like my liberal terrorist friends, I am told. All those terrorising people in the name of terrorism are apparently just giving terrorism a bad name for their self seeking goals.
Whether one is a cultural and non-practicing terrorist or a liberal terrorist, both groups of terrorists need to accept that we are giving credence to radical terrorists by constantly referring to ourselves as terrorists despite contradicting the basic principles of terrorism. And then we claim to fight against fundamental terrorism as well, while simultaneously helping their cause. Maybe I should not refer to myself as a terrorist after all.
The writer is a non-practicing terrorist, and the author of The Bomb Delusion. All side effects of reading The Horizontal Column are the readers’ headache.
