Of the bizarre case that put an infant on trial and its ramifications
Just when you thought things could not get any more comical in Pakistan, this bizarre case has come up with a proverbial infant being put on trial. Not only is it surprising that the case has been filed against him, but what is more shocking is that the entire judicial procedure is going to go ahead against this “enfant terrible”. I mean I thought that this enfant terrible (ET) would be severely low on the priority list considering the problems that this country is facing. No surprises then that ET being all over the news is considered a distraction to divert attention away from actual problems in the country.
On the top of the “problem-list” sit the Taliban, with whom the government is negotiating, despite the negotiations failing again and again. To be very honest no one really knows what we are negotiating anymore. And now there is another terrorist group waiting to be negotiated with – not. The United Baloch Army, who no one had heard of until this week, but has now managed to bomb Sibi and Islamabad in back-to-back days – does not sound suspicious at all. There is the escalating sectarianism as well, with Shias being killed daily and Hindu temples being torched. Then there is the small matter of a stuttering economy and an escalating energy crisis. The fiscal situation is in dire straits and security seems to be nonexistent. And so the ongoing case against ET at this time makes little sense.
The ET case is all over international media. Everyone is busy mocking Pakistan, telling us how we are not focusing on the real issues at hand. Some people actually think it is satire. Actual news is more satirical than satire that is written after spending eons on linking creativity with imagination. ET would soon make Pakistani satirists jobless.
What possible logic could there be of putting ET under trial? Just look at his face. No wonder people consider him so adorable. Anyone who has been following the news knows that ET came into the spotlight accidentally. It is the law enforcers, paid through our well earned money, that are responsible for the comically tragic (or tragically comical) news stories like the one of our enfant terrible.
Just because someone has written down his name as a culprit, you will file a case against ET? Just follow the story and you will know how ET was used to protect certain people. Is it any surprise then that ET has had to go into hiding? The visible horror on his face at having to go to court would melt even the stone hearted.
ET has clearly underscored the constitutional and judicial dysfunction in Pakistan. And clearly the pressure surrounding the case is getting denser every day.
Well honestly what do you think will happen in the case, now? What verdict would be given? People consider it virtually impossible that ET would be sent to prison or punished in any possible way. Not only would that be unprecedented, it would change the way law and order is perceived in Pakistan forever. There just are some people that cannot be punished. ET clearly is above law, and it would be absurd to pursue this case any longer. In any case if ET is punished, everyone who has formed a part of his support system would have to be punished as well. And that obviously would never happen.
In the tiniest of possibilities that ET actually is sentenced, Pakistan should actually prepare itself for a military coup. Because the army chief would not like it one bit – and he has been giving his warnings to the government of late as well. If this enfant terrible is sentenced prepare yourself for a civil war people – it is not every day that Islamic Republic of Pakistan sentences a former chief of army staff to death.
The writer is a veteran baby-sitter, who specialises in taking care of infants under stress. All aftereffects of reading The Horizontal Column are the readers’ own headache.