Pakistan, India matchup vindicates Two-Nation Theory: Ramiz Raja

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Dhaka – Sports Correspondent: Indo-Pak historians have deliberated over the veracity of the Two-Nation Theory that became Pakistan’s founding ideology. Some claim that the division was unnecessary and that Pakistanis and Indians are basically the same people, while others claim that the two are inherently antagonistic to one another. However, we may finally have found the conclusive proof for the veracity of Two-Nation Theory, according to renowned cricket expert Ramiz Raja.

In an exclusive interview with Khabaristan Today, where he previews today’s Asia Cup match between Pakistan and India Ramiz shared his views on the Two-Nation Theory.

“I think all you need to do is look at the cricket teams of the two nations and how they have performed over the years to prove that the Two-Nation Theory was always correct,” Ramiz said adding that, “it is a genuine symmetric divide.”

Ramiz suggested that there has been a lot of undue criticism on the Radcliffe line and said that Cyril Radcliffe clearly knew what he was doing. “It was an ideological hotchpotch. Dividing the Indian Subcontinent into Muslim and Hindu zones was impossible. So Radcliffe did the next best thing,” he said.

“Instead of dividing in along ideological or communal lines, Radcliffe divided the subcontinent along cricketing lines. All the batsmen went to India, while Pakistan got most of the bowlers. Among the bowlers spinners were slightly more evenly distributed, while Pakistan got all the pacers. Radcliffe was a cricketing genius. And we only realised that half a century late,” Ramiz added.

Pakistan’s former captain then went on to highlight how fluctuating cricketing performances also add credence to the Two-Nation Theory. “Whenever Pakistan has dominated cricket, India has been pretty average, and when India rises to the top, Pakistan are relatively mediocre. Just take the example of the previous couple of decades. Nineties belonged to Pakistan, while the naughties belonged to India. The ongoing decade has been more even, but Sunday’s match will be one of the decisive encounters,” Ramiz added.

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 Winner of today’s match to get Kashmir: United Nations

New York – UN Correspondent: United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-moon has signed the resolution declaring that the winner in the Asia Cup encounter between Pakistan and India would settle a half a century old issue of Kashmir, Khabaristan Today has learnt. UN has passed the resolution keeping in mind the gravity of the matchup and the urgent need to solve the Kashmir issue. Sub-clauses of the resolution include favourable outcome in Siachen, Wullar Barrage and Sir Creek issues in case of a victory by a Net Run Rate of greater than 1.25.

“Winner of the India-Pakistan match in Dhaka would get Kashmir,” the UN Secretary General said, adding that, “If the winning team outscores the opponent in the batting powerplay, it would also decide the fate of Veena Malik, Adnan Sami, Shoaib Malik, Atif Aslam and Sania Mirza.”

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Umar Akmal’s arrest warrants issued for wasting talent

Lahore – Traffic Correspondent: Model Town Courts Judicial Magistrate on Thursday issued the arrest warrant of cricketer Umar Akmal for not appearing before the court in a case registered against him for wasting his talent so conspicuously.

The court has summoned Akmal throughout his career but he has never bothered to follow court orders. The court had earlier ordered law enforcing authorities to arrest him and produce him before the court but then he scored that impressive century against Afghanistan, which followed a gallant knock against Sri Lanka as well.

It is pertinent to mention that Akmal is has been regularly accused of throwing his wicket away in the past. According to police earlier in his cricketing career, Umar was arrested over speeding during matches and warned for feigning injuries when his brother is dropped.

“If Umar Akmal can play knocks like the ones he has played in the Asia Cup so far, with such stunning stroke play, his irresponsible batting in the past and how he has wasted his talent is indeed criminal,” the Model Town Courts Magistrate said. “We will definitely arrest him when he is back from Bangladesh, unless he continues batting like this and wins us the Asia Cup,” he added.

The police has submitted challan against Akmal and have charged him with breaking the law through his imprudent batting.

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Taliban deny Ch Nisar’s cricket offer, propose football match

North Waziristan – TTP Correspondent: Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) chief Mullah Fazlullah has rejected Chaudhry Nisar Ali’s offer of playing a cricket match saying that his squad prefers football. “We appreciate Nisar’s invitation, but we are truly football fanatics. I mean people have always knows us as fanatics, but few know the prefix attached to it,” Fazlullah said.

The TTP chief said that the only reason his team decapitated those 23 FC soldiers during peace talks was because his squad had run out of footballs to practice and there was a crucial derby over the weekend against hometown rivals. “We had no other option. We needed to practice before the big game, and human heads are the only brand of football that we use during the match,” Fazlullah said.

He further thanked Nisar’s offer and showcased willingness to play out a football match whenever asked, “Maybe we could settle our negotiations over the game of football someday. One condition though: we’ll bring the balls,” Fazlullah said.

“That’s why we don’t play cricket. It is truly impossible to play cricket with a decapitated head,” he concluded.