Pakistan Today

Rape: The ultimate solution

Rape is quite literally the only crime that is extremely heinous yet totally un-convictable in Pakistan

News about men doing some silly thing or the other keeps making rounds regularly. We can’t go a day without finding out about some poor chap who was so frustrated with his wife’s habit of birthing daughters that he killed their newborn baby girl or some innocent random guy who threw acid in a woman’s face because she refused his advances. Women! There is not much you can say about them. Pakistani women! They are the root of so much trouble for men. So how does one go about remedying the damage that women do? Simple: rape them.

I know many of you troubled lads must be wondering: why rape? Well contrary to what men have been led to believe women do not really enjoy being raped. While we have often heard a poor rapist say things like “she was asking for it” or “she enjoyed it”, the reality is that women sort of hate sexual contact that they have not explicitly approved of. Who can figure out women though; you never know what they want. However, as a result of their nitpicking over whether or not they wanted sexual contact, what they are left with is that women are devastated in the aftermath of rape. They can suffer from an assortment of mental problems as a consequence. Sure the physical marks will disappear overtime, but the mental horrors shall remain. Post traumatic stress disorder, self-harm or mutilation, Stockholm syndrome (this is the fun one if you are married to her), borderline personality disorder – you name it and she will probably be afflicted with it once you are done.

Time and time again, we hear about men making the same old mistake. Some try to defame women, some go after their kids, some torture them physically, some even end up killing them in the name of honour. What good does any of that really do at the end of the day? If you get caught then you are in for a lot of trouble with the law. It is a huge problem where you have to pay for bail, pay the police, pay the lawyers, and so on. Nevertheless, rape has no such problems attached to it. Of course, there are also men that rape women to get the right kind of effect, but coupling rape with any other violent act is the actual deal breaker.

Men are not called “alpha male” for no reason. They are the obviously stronger sex and that strength has to be exhibited clearly for a woman to submit completely. Raping a woman only seems like risky business on the surface, the reality is that in Pakistan you could rape a woman in broad daylight and no harm will come to you. The courts cannot convict you of violating a woman unless that woman can present four witnesses proving the act. Where is she going to find four people to vouch for the rape? If four people were watching you rape her, wouldn’t they have stopped you? It’s a crime that isn’t really a crime. Just try not to do anything reckless like stab her before, after or during your sexual encounter because then you might have a problem – she most definitely can get you jailed for that, but not for the rape, definitely not for the rape. Follow the KISS logic i.e., keep it simple stupid and just stick to rape and do nothing else. In several cases, rape victims suffer such trauma that they end up killing themselves. Suicide isn’t an uncommon aftereffect of rape. So if you feel an intense need to murder your victim go into it with your fingers crossed and she just might do it for you once you are through with her.

The cherry on the top is the backing of the Council of Islamic Ideology that has declared DNA evidence useless as the primary form of evidence in rape cases. For a second or two, some people were scared because those DNA tests can be pretty darn accurate. Oh but of course if it so happens that your rape victim ends up pregnant then as per CII guidelines you can use the same DNA tests to prove paternity and get your baby back (especially if it’s a son!).

Social media and physical media have been giving people the false impression that things can change. The popular narrative follows that a poor man, who was dealt the shorter end of the stick by a woman, can find himself in disastrously hot waters if a social media campaign is launched in the woman’s favour. It is even worse if media such as newspapers and TV channels catch on to the story. However, the reality remains that aside from an onslaught of reprimand and harsh words a man never really has anything to worry about. Media pressure has not been able to get any men convicted of rape so far. Anyone remember the Quaid’s mazar rape case? It caught the attention of every single media outlet in Pakistan. Did that guarantee punishment? Nope. Did the DNA evidence help? Not a bit. While you should watch out for the incoming hatred from people who do not know any better – it is just another storm that you will have to ride out.

Need more proof that raping a woman is easy and inconsequential? In the last five years over 103 rape cases have been registered in Islamabad alone, and of those 103 there have been zero convictions. Yes, you read that right! Being convicted is damn near impossible (unless you are stupid enough to confess). So let people chastise you all they want, it does not matter at the end of the day. All that these petty women manage to do is basically make a mockery of themselves when they try to get legal help. Then everyone from their own parents to their dhobi knows just how dirty they are. Women who come forward about their rape are subject to harsh scrutiny, their own honour is put on a weighing scale and squashed to pieces. Of course it is their own fault; what were they expecting would happen?

For some men the woman giving them trouble presents a fair complication. For some men that annoying woman is their wife. How do you rape your wife? It is not rape at all if you are married; it is just fornication leading to procreation. Well, this may come as a shock but you can totally rape your wife! Yes, when you force your lawfully wedded woman into your bed you are actually violating the very fabric of her existence. Do not succumb to pressure from your family and/or friends and do something silly like strap her to a stove and leave the gas on. Just keep forcing yourself on her every single day so that you break her spirit little by little.

Therefore, the basic lesson in all this at the end of the day is: rape is quite literally the only crime that is extremely heinous yet totally un-convictable in Pakistan. If you are aiming to hurt a woman, do not try to kill her or physically maim her in any other way because that can have serious legal implications. Simply rape her; there is not much she can do about it, not in this country.

Luavut Zahid is a journalist based in Lahore. Her writings focus on current affairs and crisis response. She can be reached at luavut@gmail.com, she tweets @luavut.

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