Pakistan’s secret satire duo

Immi ji’s entire political career has been a long stint in satire

In a baffling twist of events Munawar Hassan and Imran Khan have unveiled themselves as masters of satire. The two men broke their silence after the mounting hate mail being thrown their way by not just Pakistanis, but people from all over the world. Their combined decisions to hop out of their satirical closet has left many wondering if other politicians may soon follow suit.

Their claim to satire comes at the heel of the hanging of Molla Abdul Quader. Both Imran and Munawar had come to Molla’s defense for being sentenced by Bangladeshi courts for crimes against humanity along with other war crimes that took place in 1971. Munawar went on to record to call Molla a true ‘Pakistani Patriot’ and denounced the entire hanging debacle while Imran Khan followed his lead and further asserted that Molla was ‘innocent’. However, their statements took social media by storm with many people chanting “Immi-Munni Haye Haye” through their twitter updates and Facebook statuses. Some even put up cover photos which read: “Immi + Munni = keep noses out of Bangladesh!!!”

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‘Surely, no sane politician could have gone on record to defend Molla, let alone call him a true Pakistani patriot.’

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Reacting to the massive reactions Imran said, “It is disappointing, only a ludicrous baboon would think that Munni and I would support such an obvious criminal! We’ve been in the satire business for years, how did none of you notice?” Molla has been charged with six crimes, five of which he was convicted for. It is not that hard to believe Immi and Munni in their satirist claims; murder, rape, child molestation, seem like they had been a walk in the park for Molla. The man had such a strong heart that he even killed a two year old by smashing him into the ground. Surely, no sane politician could have gone on record to defend the man, let alone call him a true Pakistani patriot.

This isn’t the first time the spoof loving duo found themselves in hot waters for statements they had made to the media. Only a couple of weeks ago we heard Munni dearest refer to Hakimullah Mehsud as a martyr, and he didn’t stop there, he went on to clarify that every single dead soldier from the Pakistani army was nothing more than a dead soldier – no martyrdom benefits attached. Immi had his own punch line packed and ready when he said, “Whenever initiative of peace talks are taken in the country, US drone strikes sabotage them,” he said. It’s no secret that the Taliban have repeatedly shut the door in Pakistan’s face whenever peace talks are called for. Fewer drones have probably attacked the Taliban, as compared to the number of TTP attacks that take place, while talks for peace are on the table.

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‘Munni says his statement was a huge hit with the masses. “So many people came up to me and said things like “bara acha mazak kar leite hain app,” “was that a joke?” and I said “Yes! Yes, it is, thank you for appreciating”.’

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Immi also talked about his dissatisfaction with his party member’s dire lack of wit and humor. “first, it was all Immi bhai, Immi bhai… now they all call me Taliban khan. This country has prose and poise and I was just going for some dark humor. Where does it say that I can’t have light hearted moments about current affairs? You’re all turning against me because I tried to make the Pakistani public laugh! What rubbish! Ye tou Yahoodi Sazish hai… and no I’m not talking about my ex-wife!” Some people have also politely pointed out that Immi has been cracking the same “Yes, peace talks; no, NATO supply” joke for a while now and people truly have no idea when he is kidding and when he isn’t.

The funny bone of contention

Munni may not have the same kind of following that Immi enjoys, but he has his own troubles to deal with. When his friend Fazlu talked about dogs and martyrdom no one batted an eyelash. “You see he was aiming for the western audience because they love dogs,” he says, “but when I try to bring things into perspective, no one gets it!”.

But where did it all start? For Immi ji his entire political career has been a long stint in satire. “I was so successful. I had the world cup and Shaukat Khanum and these were both very respectable achievements I wanted something more light hearted. My entire political career has been a joke, obviously” he said.

And Munni ji claims he remembers the exact moment he knew he was meant for this ‘sarcastic’ adventure. He rose to fame in this witless world of wit during 2011 when he went on national TV to proclaim that, “If a woman gets raped and she does not have four witnesses, she should stay quiet.” Several people jumped to point out that the religious leader had lost his marbles, but Munni says his statement was a huge hit with the masses. “So many people came up to me and said things like “Bara acha mazak kar leite hain app,” “Was that a joke?” and I said “Yes! Yes, it is, thank you, for appreciating”.

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‘”Yeh tou Yahoodi Sazish hai… and no I’m not talking about my ex-wife!”, Imran Khan.’

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With a dreamy look in his eyes Immi shot a loving glance at Munni and said, “We both have been in love with NFP’s work for oh so long… he’s our inspiration you know. People didn’t get his Malala article either, they thought he was serious! Brother Nadeem we feel your pain, we can relate to you so well!”

Reactions to the joint statement were mixed. Sheikh Rasheed added his two cents to the problematic situations by laughing, laughing and then laughing some more. “Kuch mera style hi copy kar lete, logon ko meri baat tou hamesha mazak hi lagti hai,” was the statement he eventually managed to make once he had stopped laughing.

Immi further added, “I’ve been told by many that, I’m ‘such a joker’, ‘a big clown’… logon ko meri batain sunker bohat hansi ati hai, so far it’s all been good. The TTP problem and Molla’s hanging are the two issues where people took things to heart. Munni lamented the same issue and talked about the success he’s enjoyed as a satirist, “there was even a twitter trend: #MunawarIsAJoke. Now tell me why that would happen if people didn’t think I was funny… Curse that Molla and the seriousness of his crimes.”

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‘”We both have been in love with NFP’s work for oh, so long… he’s our inspiration you know. People didn’t get his Malala article either, they thought he was serious! Brother Nadeem we feel your pain, we can relate to you so well!”.’

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After the joint statement, issued by the two satirical politicians, several people flocked to the Bilawal House to see whether the baby Bhutto was slated to make a similar appearance to the media. However, it seems that he’s been direly serious the entire time. That being said, experts are of the view that in the coming days the likes of Rehman Malik and Nisar Chaudhry, etc. may also make announcements similar to the one made by Immi and Munni.

Luavut Zahid is a journalist based in Lahore. Her writings focus on current affairs and crisis response. She can be reached at [email protected], she tweets @luavut.